Thursday, May 22, 2008

poor baby brother.

ma and pop got on sam today for his fashion sense.
one thing you need to understand about him is that he is very fashion savvy. he isn't gay..he's just a ramos.

He likes to wear vests and suspenders and has this pair of high top red converse that he basically sleeps in. he's the cutest kid on the block. he sports a faux hawk with stripes on the side...i mean, really... who does that? he's pretty much the most awesome 13 year old i know.

Today he walked in with a think head band and a comb hanging from the side. Where he comes up with these things? No idea. Mom decides to make a comment about how he looked retarted with that thing on his head. ma and pa are real conservative and aren't about that...let your child find their way and make who they are a reality thing...they basically have a list of things their children will and will not do...this including our fashion choices. I've been fortunate enough to get their approval most of the time, with the exception of the occasional disapproving brow over my message tee and the questioning of a pair of old flip flops.

Anyway...Sam got real offended by this and took it as a personal attack against his sanity. "I'm not retarted mom" was his response. I remember a similar verbal altercation between my mother and i when i used to wear huge glasses and she said that i looked like steve urcle. today - i know my mom didn't mean anything by it...but then it really got to me. I proceeded to explain to sam that i personally didn't really dig the whole comb thing and that he should just listen to ma and not take it to heart. but he did. Ma responded in a "i will only stop saying that you look retarted when you stop wearing that headband and comb around your head." This is only a reflection of my moms impecable humor and also answers a lot of questions about how on earth i turned out the way i did. This is not a slam against mom...its a thank you.

But then, i began to question how i would raise my kids. There are so many parents out there that allow their kids to discover life on their own. to do the whole piercing thing...to do the whole colored hair thing...to find their own faith and to embrace it. But as an adult...knowing that life would probably be less complicated if i just allow him/her do what they want...how do you make your kids understand the importance of order and instill the values that have gotten you through life just all right. in my opinion...style is less important than the condition of their hearts. what is truth to me and how much of that am i supposed to make my kid believe. am i supposed to make them? As a christian...how do i allow my kids to find it and make it real to themselves than just something their family believed in or something that i'm forcing down my kids' throats.

is it the amount of time you spend with your kids or is it how much you allow them to hang out with their friends? i don't think i would dress and act the way i do if my mom hadn't nagged as much as she did. i have a feeling in a few years, sam will thank her for stopping him from looking like a tool.


so whats your opinion? let it be? or let it be the way i want you to do things, kid?

2 comments:

Elise Krepcho said...

i'm blogging about your blog. you should read..

sarah said...

it's a fine line to walk i think. and i think a lot of it will have to do with the way your child responds to life in general. when you tell your baby "no it's hot" will she touch it herself to see, touch it herself in spite of you, or just believe you? it's a maternal instinct most women have. no one thing will work for all kids.