Saturday, June 28, 2008

"I suppose you have heard the news, Basil?"

Jade: "I suppose you've heard the news, Basil?"
Basil: "What's that?"
Jade: "Seriously? You didn't hear about Thom?"
Basil: " Well, let's think. There are about a billion things I could come up with with just that."
Jade: "He's leaving."
Basil: "For...?"
Jade: "He's moving to San Ampithaca."
Basil: "Really? Man, I guess the kid finally decided to do something with his life. Hah!"
Jade: "...yeah..."
Basil: "Hold on, you're not upset by it, are you? I mean, its been a good, three months since you've spoken? You have a whole other life apart from what things used to be? Not to mention the fact that the guy was a JERK to you."
Jade: "I suppose not. I guess I'm just...I dunno..."
Basil: "Yeah. But you can't think about that, Jade. You just, have to...I dunno, remember that you're better off."
Jade: "Have you ever had something happen to you, something very significant, and months don't even believe it actually happened? Like it was just some, stupid story you were reading that you just got really into? Well, sometimes, I sit and think about how much things have changed in the past three months, and you're right, I have a whole other life..."
Basil: "Definitely."
Jade: "And, I mean, I've also come to realize that I don't miss him that much anymore."
Basil: "Well that's a good thing, isn't it?"
Jade: [ Jade is staring out of the window. ]
Basil: "Jade?"
Jade: "I guess..I just have weird feelings about everything, is all."
Basil: "mmhmm."
Jade: "I had so much love for him. It was two years of pure, fighting I guess, for...well, what I thought was love. And, I felt it, through and through. But now, it's's like none of it ever happened. Part of me wants to miss him, out of some...sick obligation, maybe? But...I just haven't been able to do it."
Basil: "Jade, I think you just need to give it some time. I mean, you've been--"
Jade: "--I mean, does that mean I never even really loved him, Basil? That every emotion I thought I had weren't even real? Because, it just, it can't be humanly possible to actually have that much 'love' for someone and then now, all but three months later, look at us..we don't dare speak to one another? I can handle the fact that, yeah, maybe he didn't really love me. But, I can't..."
Basil: "You can't what?"
Jade: "I can't believe...I don't want to believe that I was lying to myself the whole time. Love wasn't supposed to be this way for me, you know? Or like, whatever it was. You spend two years of your life with someone and you give so much of yourself...and...I can't even remember what he looks like. I can't feel what I felt then. Is this a good or bad thing? I just...I just don't know...I mean, have I wasted my time, if, I don't miss him? And that, I can't say that I'm upset that he's going?"
Basil: [ Basil smiles. ] Haha..No darling, I think that's actually something called...really moving on?"

x x x

goodbye. i wish you the greatest success. and . i hope it's everything i couldn't be.

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