Monday, August 4, 2008

love's not a competition but i'm winning


Loves not a competition - Paramore (Kaiser Cheifs Cover)

[ i couldn't find the original ]


So i found out today that i didn't get the girl of the moment thing with the VA pilot. I'm ok with that. i'm sure whoever won deserved it. ehh. probably not. i'm pretty much the most awesome person on the face of this planet.

We hung out at chris' house last night. under the stars with a great breeze. for some reason the stars are 10x brighter in great bridge than they are where i live. if i could purchase a night sky to see every night i would've bought that chunk. i probably would have paid a million bucks for it. it was my friend's first time to meet chris' parents and they really made an impression on her. she kept talking about how it was awesome to see people's parents still being so in love after 20+ years. i feel the same way about my parents who have been together for 26 years and i esp feel the same way about my grandparents, who have been married for 60+ years. how does that even happen? i need that in my life. i need to still have a good time with my man at 80 years old. Please God, bring me that.

Maybe my expectations in love are just a result of seeing the couples in my family stick it out for so long. maybe that is why i'm single and maybe thats why i'm so ok with it. I am deeply afraid of being hurt again. Whether or not that is the reason i've pushed so many guys away, i don't know. But I'm happy. and i'm willing to wait.

j

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