Sunday, December 21, 2008

rest in heavenly peace

he says
come back, curl up
in me again.

remember? do you?
how comfortable you were?
how warm?
( "how temporary", i think )

ball it up and swallow it.
all of me.

he says.


I

imagine your face
your walk.
attempt
to figure out
what i was trying to define?
("people really are their own worst enemies", i think)
trashy.
trashy.
pathetic.
misplaced energy.


i've gotta go
he says
but only far enough
that you'll
hate me
miss me
forgive me
- for it.

only far enough for you
to get a whiff
and then taste me again.


today i watched a documentary about
your kind. your kind.
any where you lay your head
supremacy
stolen wings
squats
under bridges
seizures
that shake
and shake
until you get your next. fix.
making babies.
to adapt to a life of...
of...
of....
?



i look in the mirror and feel

only disgust in myself.
and then
the only thought i think
is out loud
and it just wants to sing,
this thought.
about empty tin cans
rusting
full of piss and sinking quarters
about neglect
and dirty jackets
and pipes made out of rotting apples
and the stench
of
your insanity.



("ball it up and choke on it"), i think.
("all of me.")

1 comment:

JP said...

jesus christ, julia, stop dating hobos and make out with me.