waking up today was hard. my head was heavy and it hurt to turn my head because my neck and back are so sore. although i'm very excited about this party...this has been the most stressful 2 weeks of my life. i hope that its all worth it. i'm not regretting doing it, but when you plan something like this...you really realize how much time you just don't have. you realize your limitations. physically and financially. and just like a lot of other things, who your real friends are. like i love the people who i haven't talked to in years that randomly ask me what i'm doing for new years eve....when they haven't asked any other year before this one. or like the people that ask me if they can bring people i don't associate myself with? and then there are the people that i make it a priority to invite but don't want to come because they don't talk to certain people that are going to be there and "it would just be, awkward". Come. ON.
BUT ... when i think about how stressed i am about it all, i just think about the fact that i'll have all of my favorite people in one room with me. having fun and dancing and celebrating the new year together! ( most of my favorite people, any way...)
is my hair falling out yet?
does anyone know a good masseuse?
momma and daddy flew out for the philippines yesterday. i really wish they were here to be at the party. they are always reassuring and full of great ideas. momma always threw the greatest and funnest parties growing up, and still now. she was always so organized and entertaining and hospitable. i hope i'm the same tomorrow night...
speaking of mom. i was looking at some old pics of her today.
i thought about how strong a woman must be to marry at 21, have her husband join the u.s. military - leave her for 6 months for the u.s., and then leave her huge family to live thousands of miles away, in a country who's language she didn't peak OR understand, and adapt to their way of life. and then raise 4 kids while my dad was away at work. how daunting? how stressful? how overwhelming?? but she did it. she always rose to the occasion. she always made things work. she always kept her head on straight...
in times like these, when i'm stressed and worried, i think about these things, and think about how my daddy always says i'm just like my mother, and while i used to hate it, i basically love it now. my mother is gracious and kind and beautiful and strong. and thats the kind of woman i want to be.
so to all of you that have felt the wrath of my stress over this party...i'm sorry. i'm realizing that i just need to enjoy it all. enjoy it all. enjoy it all...
off to get things done. loveyouall.