Friday, January 30, 2009

it was the best of times...

...it is the worst of times.
$400 cut in my pay a month.


can't even talk about it.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

NCC

baby bro sent me this. lulz^10.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

i've decided





















that i'm going to pick up photography again. i am also going back to nikons.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

to haunt or be haunted

i've always known that the wind in my hair wasn't really ever wind.
because it always looked too good on film.
or sounded too beautiful against the rim of a crystal glass.
and because it always carried the birds right over my head.

and into existence, in wind, i believe He speaks.
for night to fall.
for morning to come.
and for my heart to break.

truth is. when He speaks, the earth shutters and stars skip
blades of grass rise to glory in Him.
But i. so stupid sometimes.
so heavy in my blunders.

- an impatient heart will always break even.

in the moment that my heart is breaking, a seed (plan)ts.
blue prints.
so impatient.
so impatient.
i use my hands and i work. and work. and work towards .. towards? towards?
hush. never mind that. at least you're moving? eventually you'll fall into a dip in the road that is totally your a/s/l.....
i lift my collar so as to shield the breeze.
because it warms me up. less drag. more appealing to the flock.
"the absence of God will bring you comfort"


truth is. i'm an idiot.
my seeds are(plan)ted on rocky earth.
my heels are no good for digging because i'm too busy walkin.
and in the process of checking off names in my little black book
i've got paper cuts. and my hands hurt more than they did before.

and the air. so still. and stale. and sharp in my nose
i breathe in and try to find something fresh.
nothing.



- an impatient heart will always break even.


back to square one.


but then. i hear the crush...
and into existence, in wind, i believe He speaks.
for night to fall.
for morning to come.
and for my heart to heal.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

more adventurous



i felt the wind on my cheek coming down from the east
and thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees
and maybe ours is the cause of all mankind
give love to make more, try to stay alive






Saturday, January 24, 2009

trackin







my closet is the best place for it

Friday, January 23, 2009

the youth

what is a laser facial and how does it affect one's personal brand?



mum got laser faced while she was in asia.
i mean, if you have the means to do something like this, and you want to, do what you want with your life. but look at what people do to themselves to look younger? are lasers the fountain of youth? does youth lie in the eyes of cyclops?

i have to say her skin looks amazing. kinda jeal. kinda wanna laser face myself. kinda h8 that everything in life can be solved with lasers.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

JULY!

The Cyclades...





cant even wait. LUV U couchsurfing.com!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

there was a hole in her pocket and now she has no home

smears on the walls that remind me of brighter days
when the sun would reflect off the mirrors on the walls
when grandma would braid my hair at night and grandpa would drink hot coffee
when saturdays were orange peels and blinds that rolled up with just one tug.

learning songs on my piano
the mystery of cricket sounds and LPs of karen carpenter

x


the only thing that comforts me now are dull memories
the hinges on these doors
and secret messages to myself.

and even these tears are comforting
they remind me of the summer rain
when rainbows would light up the golden yellow sky
and tornados would rip through the branches of our willow tree.

when my parents were still proud of me
when the only thing i had to worry about was a nose bleed.



my eyes are closed to see it all again.

to grasp. to feel. to taste. to hear.
nostalgia is, at best, more painful than anything.

Monday, January 19, 2009

no one will ever understand us

isaac: You're that nasty ass pay phone by that ice cream shop in manhattan beach, mf!
julia: youre that ugly gray bottle lezlo's cleanse comes in, mf!
isaac: You're that waitor that's been working at the ivy for 15 years, mf!
julia: oh nooo you did nooooot
isaac: Yezzir.
julia: YOU are that nasty smelling off white sofa at the roosevelt that no one ever wants to sit on, MF!!!!!!
isaac: LOL. zz.
isaac: Do you even kiss your bf with that mouth?
isaac: h8 you with a capital eight.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

p.s.

Sometimes, dreams, they come true..

kain

cannot handle ittt



livvy wins.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

inside & out

i apologize for the lacking in aesthetics. painful to look at but i had to get it out of me. just close your eyes and listen.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

resonate



Main Entry: res·o·nate
Pronunciation: \ˈre-zə-ˌnāt\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): res·o·nat·ed; res·o·nat·ing
Date: 1873
intransitive verb
1: to produce or exhibit resonance
2: to respond as if by resonance ; also : to have a repetitive pattern that resembles resonance
3: to relate harmoniously : strike a chord
transitive verb: to subject to resonating

x x x

a b s o l u t e l y.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

tell me how do you feel..





this week has been
everything i needed it to be. . .

Monday, January 12, 2009

this is very upsetting


More than anything i disagree with him about...this upsets me the most...


[ Gay bishop to open inaugural weekend ]



He doesn't support gay marriage but will allow for this? And what about Rick Warren?? So many contradictions. It is one thing to have someone like Warren speaking at your inauguration and to stick by the things you believe in, but to blatantly contradict what you supposedly believe in just to please your party? THAT is what worries me. It is hypocritical.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


blood bank . bon iver

Thursday, January 8, 2009

bonne année




"The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend." Exodus 33:11


the other day i had the opportunity to sit and talk with one of my customers about her life. she is a 60-something year old black woman who pastors a church in the roughest part of norfolk. the star quarterback of a local high school was recently shot to death and somehow she got to talking about it with me. turns out the young man was a good friend of her grandson's who had gotten shot to death in her own front yard. a week after her grandson was shot, her husband died of heart failure. talk about a tough life. talk about emptiness. talk about hurt.

anyway. in the end, her declaration was that of complete trust in the God she has been preaching about. that he speaks in ways that are beyond our understanding and that what he was telling her was that she no longer could rely on her own thoughts but on what his heart was for her. and she smiled. and didn't sulk. not once. she didn't even accept my condolences.


i've been thinking a lot about that lady. especially last night.

what is strength? where do you find strength?
some people feel strength is in talent or beauty.
some people feel strength is in intellect.
some people feel strength in viciousness.
some people feel strength in popularity.
some people feel strength in so called "superiority".
and some people, like this lady, gain strength from a higher power.


the #2 curse of my generation. . .

Identifying strength in their self brand through demeaning, hurtful, and invaluable things.



.
.
.


my resolution for 2009 is this: To figure out where to gain real, lasting strength. because by the end of 2008...i was/am running low.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

KIDS

this is why isaac rocks my life.



him: k guys you ready?
me: what?
him: check it out
him: ashley says you are so 2k3...."you guys are so 2k3...."

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

seriously tho...

THIS GUY



IS A GENIUS.
best thing i've seen all week...

its a hit


pics are up

sorry for the lack of posts. promise i'll be back.
promise i'll be better than ever.
promise one of my resolutions was to conquer all, including the bloggosphere. . .

Friday, January 2, 2009

09

i couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in the new year.
the venue was full of faces i hadn't seen in a while.
the good times lasted all night..

it was such a busy day but the end result was totally worth it!
oh, and it didn't hurt getting to my hotel room and having these waiting for me...


:) :) :)

here are a few pics from my sister's camera. josiah's working on the rest and they should be posted soon...










but seriously.
i just want to know how the mayor ended up at my party, y'all?
bogglin my mind an shiz...