dear american apparel,
i hate your guts. seriously...WHO in their right mind would wear this? you crazy girl. i will seriously punch you in the face if i ever see you in it.
i tried sleeping without the fan on last night and i realized that i can't do it.
something about still air makes me anxious. i also feel like i can't fall asleep without the whirl of the fan buzzing in the room. i know people that buy these things called, "sound machines" that make a noise similar to a fans to help you sleep at night. i mean, for some people, its THAT serious. i'm afraid it'll get to that point with me.
i was also talking with dave last night about living up to what statistics call the average american. for example, dave read somewhere that the average american spends $7 dollars a day on food. thinking about it, and i'm sure a lot of you that know ghent pretty well, it is very very difficult for someone to NOT want to get lunch from a restaurant out here. Greek, Indian, Mediterranean, Mexican, Southern, Italian... the list goes on. I probably spend, on average, $10 a day on lunch. thats $40 a week and $160 a month! I hate realizing these kinds of things because it shows how lazy and how unaverage my life is. Unaverage because i have a really bad problem with instant gratification - not in every area of my life, mainly on things i think i'm entitled to, like good food, cute clothes, and pretty things. But then i look at my receipts and add that ish up and i am in no way shape or form entitled to anything. just the other day, ruth got into my car and saw all of the empty water bottles i had in there (i desperately need to clean out my car too), and says, "Julia, i swear, when you want something, you really go and get it. what happened to refilling water bottles at home?!?". i mean, sometimes you don't think about these things, but that's 2 bucks down the drain, just because i was too lazy to refill an old bottle!
so my goal is to become more aware of the money that i spend on things. i've put together a spreadsheet for myself that allows me to calculate how much money i have in access for each month. i feel like if i really want to get my own place again, i'm going to have to force myself to maintain that mindset. living at home has been too easy. and its not about who's got enough money (or their daddy's money) to do what they want with it and who doesn't, its about being a good steward of the good things God gives us. which, in the end, is everything.
i'm off to pick up my lunch from taste. last time, i promise.