Sunday, May 10, 2009

i realized today that i can't sit still or have a free moment because my thoughts seem to wander too much. its like, if i sit and be quiet for too long, i find myself over thinking and torturing myself. they are mainly thoughts about figuring out how to make things happen for me now, rather than wait for my life to just work itself out. its almost like an obsession & it is so tiring.

its really strange to me that i've become the type of person that needs to keep moving. i used to be such a homebody and completely ok with being at home. but now, whether its working or going out or even just sitting and having a meal. i've kept a steady pace . . . and pushed that pace, and i've realized that its to distract myself from these crazy questions of how, when, who, what, etc. . .

and i . don't . know...if this is a good or bad thing.

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