Friday, July 31, 2009

City hall

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

A person's capacity to hurt is so real.
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

because knowledge is power




Obama's health care plan. PLEASE educate yourselves.

I WILL refuse to pay taxes that fund abortions. No questions asked.

Monday, July 27, 2009

3D movie?!? What???

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a lesson learned

i'd like to preface this entry by saying that my blog is a collection of thoughts and opinions about the world around me and that i appreciate you all reading it and allowing me to be as personal as i am and have been on here without being judgmental, (or being vocal about it atleast..hah!). i've had this thing for a few years now and as unimportant i feel my life is, people do read it and although i don't know why, i'm greatful for it. i have a lot on my mind a lot of the time & i feel better about being completely transparent on here because anyone that wants to read it can and i don't really hold anything back. maybe it has to do with the fact that i hate confrontation & try my best to avoid drama. i figure if you read it, you read it, if you don't, you don't. it's all your choice. so i guess, thank you & i'm sorry? now...for todays topic...


* sigh * so...yeah, it's definitely been a crazy week.
i stayed in most nights and the only night i really went out was on saturday for the receiver show. maybe it was what andy calls, "coop loop", or built up negative energy from work, family, & financial stresses, but apparently all of my negativity came out at once. ( i guess the alcohol didn't help, either ). either way, i hope that those that were there know that it was definitely just an off night for me. i'm stressed out and have a lot on my plate right now. i shouldn't have let you see that side of me and i regret it.



maybe all of this isn't a big deal, but i don't want my friends to feel unpleasant vibes from me. just know that it was just an off night for me and it'll definitely be something that i'm working on.i'm greatful to mary for bringing this to my attention and she's sweet for being honest with me about everything that was said. without her, i probably wouldn't even have noticed my being negative that night. she didn't have to come to me and admit what she admitted and fixed things, but that's the kind of friend that you know will always be honest with you and i appreciate that.

i am a work in progress. i am by no means perfect. but please trust me when i say that i'm trying to work it all out.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

p.s.

this is painful:

TONIGHT



Annual Ghent Bar Tour is going on today. If you didn't know, all of the proceeds go to The Hope House Foundation. Yay for Ghent giving back to the community for a good cause...

Come celebrate the city tonight:
Receiver & DJ Cornbread at The Boot > 9pm > $5 > 21+


See you there!

Friday, July 24, 2009

one wing

there's a feeling that has been creeping in & today's news has magnified it times 1 billion...

just found out some news about a girl i had been best friends with for about 6+ years. she was like my sister and besides ruth, she was one of the people i considered to be the closest to me. we met at a bible study when we were 16 and her, ruth, and i had been inseparable ever since. through years of break ups & boyfriends & heartaches, apparently she's found the love of her life and is engaged and living the dream we had always talked about.


unfortunately this past summer, she and i had a falling out, and as much as i would love to say that this is great news, it hurts to know that i can't be there to celebrate this time with her. i felt real pain and anger when all of this went down and up until finding out this news today, i had been ok with just living separate lives and never speaking again. i guess what comes to mind were our plans to have each other as bridesmaids and would predict how old we would be when we actually tied the knot. when i found out, i thought about all of the bridesmaids dresses hanging in my closet and with no disrespect to them, i probably still only talk to 3 / 7 brides that had me in their weddings. i think about the hundreds of dollars i spent on hideous dresses and about how i didn't really know most of them and am still confused as to why i was asked. i think about all of these things and compare it to how overjoyed i would have been to hear the news. how i would have cried and celebrated with her and how much this particular bride would have meant to me. . .


why are we even still fighting, again? i ask myself

and why does this sort of situation seem to happen so often in my life?
why have some of the most meaningful relationships in my life ended this way?
why have the people that have walked away from me given me such b.s., puzzling reasons?

reasons that come to mind:

- because of a stupid boy i kissed when i was 16 and him being, "the love of (her) life"

-"i don't know julia, it's like, the way you hold your cigarette..." (yes. a real reason given to me before)

-i accept your apology, but i still have the right to be bitter

-i can't give you what you want and deserve in life right now.



seriously, these things. e s c a p e me.
why are humans so weird and crazy?? why do some choose to grieve over reasons that for others are not applicable and in some cases, childish and petty?
i swear that while i was on my end loving, loving, loving, they were actually out for blood!

why
why
why
why

why have i lost so many of the people i love for reasons unexplainable to me?
is there really something wrong with me or am i just easy to blame?
and if there is something wrong with me, why won't anyone just give me a straight, solid, valid answer?
why are the reasons people give me so unsatisfying in my need to grow and be molded into something better?
should i even care if the reasons they're giving me are so completely and utterly bogus to me?
should i keep going and continue to cut them out of my life?



there my friends, lies the problem. its that i do care. and i wish i could still have these people in my life. and all of this JUST to say that this feeling is gathering like clouds blocking the sun and ready to rain. its this, strange fear of letting anyone in, all because of these past hurts and my obsession to avoid any and all situations that could possibly lead me to feel this hurt and upset over love lost. i don't ever want to feel this feeling again. ever. and the fact of the matter is when you do lose love, the only thing that hurts more than missing the person is not understanding why you've lost them. i can't do this again. i can't feel this upset, over and over.



i need good answers. i need understanding. right. now.



and this blog. is way too personal. oh well.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Monday, July 20, 2009

lifetime upgrade




"It was just ugly." - heidi
"Well, it was double ugly." - kors
"That was taste. less." - nina
"I...am about...to...lose it..." - tim gunn


Proj Run PLUS a new show about the models?!? YESSSSSSS. i'm so excited about this!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

please give me an inch of your face. an inch of your strength.

i'm tired. physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
i need help. i need to find clarity. i need to readjust and find balance. i can honestly say that i have never felt so drained in my life. i really really hate this feeling. i find my self needing to stop and breathe deeply a lot more lately, almost as a way to release the stress from my body.

i dont even know. i'm l o s i n g it.

for example. this past weekend.
work was / has been stressful
got lost while trying to find places several different times this weekend . . . one of the times, turning what should have been a 20 minute drive into a two hour drive. i forgot about a very important meeting with some very important people on friday and had to shamefully reschedule it. saturday, i completely blanked out and forgot what i was doing mid client meeting. broke down on the phone with kal within minutes of answering the phone. i mean, without getting into it, there's a list for this past weekend. so much proof that i am losing my mind. it had seriously been one of the most trying and tests of patience in a very long time. Saturday night was a little better. went to a pool party at mary's then headed to fantastic planet with kal, andy, and michelle. met up with a few old faces and had a decent time. i was pretty determined to make sunday a better day because it honestly couldn't have gotten any worse.

and, i must say, today was better. today's huffs and puffs were only from working hard and mostly sighs of relief because things were actually moving smoothly. had a shoot with Christian Agha which was a lot of fun. it was a very exciting shoot for me because i really didn't have to do that much work and was given a lot of room to be creative. the crew was so professional & talented. haven't done a shoot with that many people behind the camera lense but for a 5 hour shoot, it went by very quickly and easily and especially fun. they let me style the shoot so i decided to wear a few of the dresses momma gave me from when she was my age - a thai silk floral print dress & an all white floor length open back halter dress. both so beautiful & meaningful. can't wait for you all to see the shots

also went to church today for the first time in a while because of work. brother in law gave a good word. he touched a lot on the condition of the heart and how without Christ we would be without hope. he talked about broken hearts not being able to love. not being able to trust. not being able to commit. but again, without Christ, the heart would stay broken. . . talk about God telling you exactly what you need to hear exactly when you need to hear it.

i'm praying that this week will be better and that i will be able to keep a cool head.
wish me luck.

- julia

P.S. someone please call me tomorrow and remind me that i'm working in suffolk and not portsmouth because i can already tell you that i'm going to forget.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Nightmare

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

This top makes me look plump. Its cute though. Oh well...
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Testing 123

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stylecon

Amelia Earhart

I read an article yesterday on the top 10 amazing women in American History and she was on the list. After reading a little about her life, I got really curious about her whereabouts and started doing a little research. While sifting through a few references online, I couldn't help but notice how sophisticated she was!

take a look:











I absolutely love her style. Comfortable and feminine, but with a masculine touch, almost as a statement of her purpose to break the mold. I can see a lot of fall lines doing this...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

no reservations

i just need to be anothony bourdain



i feel like i'm like this at every meal but how much more awesome would it be and how much more disgustingly taken by good food would i be if i could do it and get paid for it and travel all over the world just to do it? ultimate dream job...no joke.
indulgence is measured by, but not limited to, the length of your arms and the depth of your pockets. i need to learn/master s e l f . c o n t r o l.

Monday, July 13, 2009

oh hay


pre family pic circa christmas 08. hallp. so funny.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

this shook me.



" i wish i could know the man i would have been without them "


so honest and telling. i thank God that i have never been addicted to drugs but i wonder how many people that struggle with addictions ponder this way and how much pain it would bring.


thank God that through Him we have hope...

via postsecret.com

Saturday, July 11, 2009

wilco will love you, baby.



wilco was amazing. dc was amazing. sarahmarie is amazing!
my week of vacay started out pretty slow and was very relaxing.
started out wednesday by having lunch with andy and ty at machismo in norfolk. i'd never been there before and i really loved it. what got me was how big their burritos were! wrapped, they looked like dirty diapers. haha...right after lunch i left to pick sarah up in richmond. i didn't realize how much i missed taking long drives on my own. i don't know why but there's something comforting about it. listening to mixes and just you and your thoughts to sort yourselves out. i definitely got a lot of thinking done. picked up sarah and headed for dc. we showed up early enough to beat rush hour. (although, rush hour is kind of a constant in DC, so that really doesn't make any sense) We stopped at my aunt's for a bit to drop off our things and took the rail to georgetown for a quick dinner at clyde's. don't go there. they had great appetizers & cocktails but awful entrees. started freaking out bc our gps aka my blackberry was dead, (which also meant that i couldn't tweet about my night!! haha), and found out that the shuttle from the rail to the wolf trap stopped running at 8. we were finished with dinner at 745 and def wouldn't make it on time. took a stinky $30 cab ride to the venue and missed almost all of conor oberst's set.

the venue was very beautiful. apparently we missed the memo that we could actually bring drinks/food in with us and ended up spending $7 on XX equis which we couldn't even bring in past lawn seats. saw jon golike and shawn and headed to row T in the front orchestra section. boy were those some grrreeeaattt seats. i was very surprised to see the array of wilco listeners at the show. there were people from all walks of life there, very different from the audience i've seen at any other show i've ever been to. besides coldplay maybe ;-). wilco played great and i fell in love even more.




(that one was for kal, obviously.)










after the show we were hungry and headed back to georgetown to get a bight. we asked around for a good place to get a late night meal and everyone we talked to suggested Bisto Francaise - a 4 star french restaurant that has full service till 3 am! By far my favorite restaurant in the DC area. look how charming! i felt like i was in europe again...





after dinner we took another $30 cab ride home. i spent a ridiculous amount of money while i was there...but we were celebrating. no regrets. I am once again passionate about finding someway to end up in DC again. but for good this time. i definitely wish we could have stayed longer...seems to be sarah's and my favorite place to hang out and be in love. haha. she's the best date EVER.

got home the next day and immediately had a shoot w/ josiah. preview!:







josiah marroquin photography 2009

then to a style session and then dinner and then home. it was a looong day.

yesterday had lunch with kelly - a treat for me, simply because i haven't seen her in soo long - then headed home and cleaned out my car & bedroom, got re-organized in preparation for my going back to work. had dinner w andy mellon at tortilla west and had monster nachos! met up with everyone to see a movie and then headed to the wave for a bit to dance.


before i go, i'd like to apologize for my lack of posts lately. i've been so very busy. thank you for reading! i'm back to work this week. another key added to my keychain via getting this portsmouth store running again. wish me luck!

kelly & jesse's wedding tonight. its going to be a beautiful time...

Monday, July 6, 2009

weekend recap

so. i'm 22. kind of finally feel more at ease with the age i'm at. i don't know if you understand how i mean, but i do.

friday was birthday eve. woke up to a beautiful breezy day and had lunch w/ kal did a little shopping, got my nails done & then met up with kal again and saw public enemies. rushed home and that night hung out with melissa, kal, amy, gabe, bart, eric, mary, andy, & jamie. we had hibatchi & sushi at sai gai in norfolk. went to swirl for ice cream on colley and after that the wave to dance and ty/josiah/jimmy/cory/paul/& michelle met up. we danced. we hung. good times.

saturday was my real birthday day. woke up to an empty house and had lunch w/ the family and ate red velvet cake that sister elise made for me. it was a pretty quiet lunch. then picked up kal and headed to ty & andy's to meet up with everyone to grill out and later walked to see the fireworks.

today went to church, yelled at an apple care rep over the phone, had lunch & coffee with andy mellon then headed to another great dinner with the fam. added another coffee table 'book' to my collection when i randomly found a copy of the april 1979 edition of Réalités mag...truly a feast for the eyes.(!!!). dad left for Rhode Island till friday and wend and brought the boy soup because he's been sick. after went and played "lips" w keith, elise, & justin. dominated. duh.

pics:












thank you, friends, for being good people and caring enough to share in celebrating life with me. you are all really the best.

wilco.
wilco.
wilco.

can't waitttt.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

070409


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" - a.n.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

little kidz rock


My birthday is in 2 days. Wanna get me a gift? Make a donate to little kids rock & help save music education in our public schools!!

cool! 10 day vacation here i cooommmeeee......!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Michael Jackson and his fashion legacy...

Yesterday I was doing my daily blog scan and of course, there was an assortment of entries written in dedication to Michael and his life. Although the last decade or so of it was spent being called awful names in the media, it seems as though people have come to realize the magnitude of his influence and genius. It's pretty safe to say that Michael has in some way shape or form been a part of our lives growing up. Every time you're on a dance floor, the ultimate cool points go to the kid that can moon walk. Free Willy? Smooth Criminal? Jam?? You cannot deny it! There are even indie artists giving their two cents on how they've been influenced. Check out stereogum.com for a great article about that...

I also came across a great article on newyorkmagazine.com that portrayed MJ as a style icon. I clicked through the pictures...and couldn't help but see SO much of today's fashion in everything Michael hit the stage in. He originated the metallic, the military jacket, the wayferer, the aviator, biker gloves, and the fedora, just to name a few. Next thing we knew, the runway was drowning in it. (Most notably - Balmain, YSL, & Cavalli). Designers have an affinity for creating something timeless and celebrities, aim to emulate the same. Who better than to use Michael Jackson as an inspiration? Whether or not it was intentional...fashion has taken direction from MJ...and I am genuinely and pleasantly surprised at the comparisons I've found...

So, this month's Stylecon: Michael Jackson







Michael interpreted in fashion today (click to enlarge - collage pics from various online sources):




It really is hard to deny. You have to have been living under a rock to not see Michael in fashion today.
Here's to you Michael! Thank you for everything you were...