Monday, July 27, 2009

a lesson learned

i'd like to preface this entry by saying that my blog is a collection of thoughts and opinions about the world around me and that i appreciate you all reading it and allowing me to be as personal as i am and have been on here without being judgmental, (or being vocal about it atleast..hah!). i've had this thing for a few years now and as unimportant i feel my life is, people do read it and although i don't know why, i'm greatful for it. i have a lot on my mind a lot of the time & i feel better about being completely transparent on here because anyone that wants to read it can and i don't really hold anything back. maybe it has to do with the fact that i hate confrontation & try my best to avoid drama. i figure if you read it, you read it, if you don't, you don't. it's all your choice. so i guess, thank you & i'm sorry? now...for todays topic...


* sigh * so...yeah, it's definitely been a crazy week.
i stayed in most nights and the only night i really went out was on saturday for the receiver show. maybe it was what andy calls, "coop loop", or built up negative energy from work, family, & financial stresses, but apparently all of my negativity came out at once. ( i guess the alcohol didn't help, either ). either way, i hope that those that were there know that it was definitely just an off night for me. i'm stressed out and have a lot on my plate right now. i shouldn't have let you see that side of me and i regret it.



maybe all of this isn't a big deal, but i don't want my friends to feel unpleasant vibes from me. just know that it was just an off night for me and it'll definitely be something that i'm working on.i'm greatful to mary for bringing this to my attention and she's sweet for being honest with me about everything that was said. without her, i probably wouldn't even have noticed my being negative that night. she didn't have to come to me and admit what she admitted and fixed things, but that's the kind of friend that you know will always be honest with you and i appreciate that.

i am a work in progress. i am by no means perfect. but please trust me when i say that i'm trying to work it all out.

8 comments:

rachel said...

I know how you feel on that one, I can't count how many times people who don't know me say stuff about me. I just ignored it. If I let it bother me, it showed they won. I'm sure that girl will make herself look dumb in the end. and I'm sure you have more important things to worry about, so don't think too much over it. Your real friends know who you are and won't let her words change their friendship with you.

I don't even know if that was legit advice, but you seemed so down. Just think, she's a newb and is probably intimidated by you, which is a good thing. =]

Teagan said...

I second what rachel said.

I've learned a lot this year that no matter if you were nice or mean, if someone doesn't know you and already doesn't like you, you can't really do anything to change it, so why waste your time?
Let them talk, obviously its because they're either insecure or bored.
Unfortunately, there's always going to be someone who has a problem with someone, even the people who seem to have almost everyone liking them.

julia r said...

thanks ladies. i def feel the love knowing people can relate to how i feel. it definitely is something i'm trying to work through!

julia r said...

p.s. the saddest part about all of this is that i was always nothing but nice to this girl, even when i had previous and completely legit reasons to be mean to her. and then she turns around and does this!

why are ppl so dramatic??

Teagan said...

I wish i knew! I never understood, Sure, i like to watch drama, but i sure as hell hate to live it. I think thats why I keep myself so closed off is just because of the drama.

systemreceiver said...

This actually had nothing to do with this girl saying anything about Julia, because she was the one person who barely said a word.

julia r said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
julia r said...

funny cuz thats allll i'm hearing about.