i'd like to preface this entry by saying that my blog is a collection of thoughts and opinions about the world around me and that i appreciate you all reading it and allowing me to be as personal as i am and have been on here without being judgmental, (or being vocal about it atleast..hah!). i've had this thing for a few years now and as unimportant i feel my life is, people do read it and although i don't know why, i'm greatful for it. i have a lot on my mind a lot of the time & i feel better about being completely transparent on here because anyone that wants to read it can and i don't really hold anything back. maybe it has to do with the fact that i hate confrontation & try my best to avoid drama. i figure if you read it, you read it, if you don't, you don't. it's all your choice. so i guess, thank you & i'm sorry? now...for todays topic...
* sigh * so...yeah, it's definitely been a crazy week.
i stayed in most nights and the only night i really went out was on saturday for the receiver show. maybe it was what andy calls, "coop loop", or built up negative energy from work, family, & financial stresses, but apparently all of my negativity came out at once. ( i guess the alcohol didn't help, either ). either way, i hope that those that were there know that it was definitely just an off night for me. i'm stressed out and have a lot on my plate right now. i shouldn't have let you see that side of me and i regret it.
maybe all of this isn't a big deal, but i don't want my friends to feel unpleasant vibes from me. just know that it was just an off night for me and it'll definitely be something that i'm working on.i'm greatful to mary for bringing this to my attention and she's sweet for being honest with me about everything that was said. without her, i probably wouldn't even have noticed my being negative that night. she didn't have to come to me and admit what she admitted and fixed things, but that's the kind of friend that you know will always be honest with you and i appreciate that.
i am a work in progress. i am by no means perfect. but please trust me when i say that i'm trying to work it all out.