Friday, August 28, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

best friends day!

Best Friends Day 7 from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

come with. its going to be uh may zinng

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

making the good Lord laugh a little bit

i've come to realize that i'm at a point in my life where it can be really easy to just settle and get comfortable with things. i know and believe in my potential and i honestly don't care how arrogant that sounds. i'm terrified of settling with anything that isn't challenging me as a person and helping me grow. my dreams to open paper heart have been dulled by being wrapped up in my real day time job as it's gotten busier and busier and i continue to go to sleep at night thinking, "God, I hope this isn't it. I need a way to break out of this..."

Initially my mindset was, "Julia, you have a job. Be thankful for it" and don't get me wrong I am. But I have been working for this company for almost 5 years now and all I have to show for it is a great resume and a paycheck. It's definitely been a great learning tool as far as running a business goes, but i feel like i'm past that. i'm ready to move forward. a lot of people have been wanting updates on paper heart and i haven't really had anything to say. I can say that one of my goals in life is definitely to be a business owner and i worked very hard at it for a good two or three months - just doing a lot of research, getting advice from other business owners, and talking to investors. I was set and ready to do it, but then i got cold feet. i was inches away from signing a contract with an investor and started getting nervous about if i really wanted to take on such a huge responsibility. i started thinking about money and bills and being 22 and then being 40 and being hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. i lost sleep over it. it was like a huge revelation to me.

so here i am, 22, working a job that "pays the bills". Stressful, but not at all challenging.
here's this dream that is completely attainable but extremely intimidating. and as much as i want to do it, and am willing to, why don't i feel passionate about it like i used to? not so much that i'm not passionate about it as, why am i not willing to take the risks i know its going to take. why am i not ok with the possibility of it not working out? i feel like if you make a life investment, which a business IS - a life investment, you should have zero doubts and it should be something burning inside of you. a few months ago i had this urge and need to fulfill that dream, and now its just not there?

maybe i'm just burned out from running these stores? maybe i've come to realize that 4 walls isn't for me anymore. maybe i'm being smart? whatever the reason, i'm struggling internally with questions i had when i was 18 - only this is kind of part two of the question - i've landed a good job - but what is it that i really really want to invest my time and life in?

and this part 2 of the question has spread to every area of my life. i won't get into that now but, even the thought of getting married and not being with someone that i know is going to keep things at a growing and challenging and beautiful place like that, i don't even want it.

so here's a question: what should julia do with her tiny little life? where do you picture me in 20 years?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"you give and take away"

i don't really feel it necessary to use too many words for this one, so here are a list of things i've learned the past month or so:

1) the difference and sometimes very hard to see dividing line between a blessing & a curse.
2) 7/10 women cannot be trusted. especially if A) you hardly know her and she wants to be your best friend and "play" all of a sudden & B) if you yourself have already warned other people that she cannot be trusted. please don't let this offend any of you, but its so true. and all of us women know it. (and this is absolutely not applicable to anyone that i know is following this blog.)
3) that the constitution of family is a very great learning tool & that it should definitely be valued, no matter what walk in life you are, or how smart you think you are.
4) how much i hate being on the other side of the, "i can't believe that is coming out of her mouth" - line. ALWAYS no matter how awful or off you're feeling...think before you speak! NO EXCEPTIONS!
5) the TRUE value of a dollar.

and finally (the same lesson i've learned time and time again):

6)) No matter how close you are to someone; no matter how much you have done for them, defended them, or have been loyal to them; and no matter how much you feel like or are told you are their best friend, always guard your heart, & realize that you only really see who your real friends are when times are tough and the dust clears. ( the EXACT reason why, sarahmarie & ruth have been my best friends for years. we're always honest with one another and have always been each other's biggest fans. i need more people like the two of them in my life.) It is absolutely all about how they pick their fights, how they defend you, & what kind of bandwagon they are trying to hop on. To put things bluntly, until they've stuck it out with you, you should never invest your happiness in anyone else but yourself & your god. Always prepare yourself for the falling out, because you never ever know when it will come. continue to be a good friend to them BUT you are not required to give back what isn't being given to you. in one word: reciprocity.

i'm sorry if this post was depressing but its absolutely everything i've been thinking lately.
& p.s. i've been having a really reallly great few weeks.
& p.p.s. i have this weekend off and its going to be awesome
& p.p.p.s. i'm so excited about best friend's day in richmond with sarahmarie!


Saturday, August 8, 2009

doing a tiny guest appearance during sound check w/ yokefellow @ the boot tonight. come out! its going to be a good show. with over the ocean - 10p / $5

Friday, August 7, 2009


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

my art/music/fashion/culture tumblr can be found here: JULIAGIRL

you eat a match & laugh...i catch on fire

pretty good movie although, i don't know why it didn't settle as well with me as i would have hoped it would. maybe its the realization that in some weird way, i've become summer. not in every way, but i could say that at the rate my thinking has been going at, her outlook on love is pretty much the direction i've been pointing towards. i hate admitting that, because quite frankly, zoey deschanel's character made me angry most of the movie mainly because of her disrespect & lack of heart & because of the way she reminded me of every guy that has ever broken my heart. but tonight i came to the realization that although my thoughts on love are completely realistic and healthy, there is so much lacking in all of those things. lacking in faith, in hope, in God's desire for me to be with someone, etc. its the "yes man culture" / getting my head out of clouds / summer finn syndrome.

my parents have been married for 30 years. geeze. you would think...

i can, say though that this movie has awakened my sentimental sensitivity, again. i found myself missing a lot of what comes with love when i haven't really felt that way in a good while. i have honestly been praying that God would take away the hard parts i've been feeling building up. His answers, i can feel, are starting to shave away and soften those parts...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I'm on conan y'all.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Saturday, August 1, 2009