reverie

say goodbye and say hello

2010-09-09T00:18:00.004-04:00

i'm getting married in 16 days.

in the rush of everything i haven't had the chance to sit down and really think about how much life is about to change. from the day that justin proposed to me it's literally been non-stop. primarily because of work and, well, planning a wedding in 6 months. but now, those months are gone and 16 days from now i'll have a new last name and i will be a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and, a wife.

i don't really know how to describe it. so many of my friends who aren't married yet have picked my brain about how i've handled everything and have asked if it's as fun as you imagine it to be as a young girl and the truth is... No. I can't say that the way I feel about being 16 days away from proclaiming the ultimate love and commitment to someone is anything that I ever thought it would be. It is not rainbows and butterflies 24/7. In fact it is absolutely, the most trying time you'll ever have in your relationship...ever. you are legally giving yourself to another human being. you are taking your space and sharing it with someone else. you're giving up your rituals for something that works for the both of you. you are no longer you. you are no longer a 1. you are now a .5

the good news is, ultimately, that is as bad as it gets. working out all of the crazy details and through the legal stages and the closing of this account and opening of this and deciding who keeps what and who's thing of who's do we use and meeting new family and all of that is extremely stressful and can really put a lot of strain on the relationship. it makes you want to question whether or not any of it is worth it. And the good once again outweighs (your selfishness). Because you really realize you'd go through it all again and again if you had to. You find yourself doing mandatory self inventory. you step outside of your comfort zone and you learn so much. you are stretched and your patience and grace grows and your spirit feels good about it all.

not to mention the fact that you are spending the rest of your life with your best friend. marriage allows you to come to a realization that there is actually someone in the world that absolutely cannot live a day without you. there is reciprocity. it's a man on his knee telling you that his life would not be complete without you. it's a man giving up his own agenda and giving you the ultimate promise of loyalty, friendship, and provision. that he is no longer a 1 but a .5. All of the searching and lonely nights and insecurity and heartache is over. here He is. "the one".

tonight, just like every night, i will ask God again to make me a good wife. i want to be a good wife.

Bleachin' your teeth, smiling flash Talking trash, under your breath

2010-02-18T00:41:00.002-05:00

she sat poised.

"which one today?" she thought as she traced through her rollodex.
behind her stood a canvas. a painting she was working on of herself that hadn't yet been completed. she wasn't getting paid for another 2 weeks so she'd have to wait.

"Ah! Bryan.. "

bryan was husky and painfully awkward. he was an artist - in craft and in character.

"bryan.. . i'm in love with you. oh..i know its been a few weeks, but that doesn't matter. oh shut up. lunch? of course. come over. i'll show you the painting i started. bring your paints too. "

there's a knock on the door.

"steve. i thought you were working today? . . . flowers? you shouldn't have. ok. stay the night after work?"

steve was boyish. he loved her. she was bored with him.

she pops in the "love songs" mix from mark (the boy she met first. this was the first of the many mixes he gave her. the last was called the, "i don't give a shit" mix.)

she looks at her painting - deciding on how to finish it.
a song comes on that reminds her of the night she met daniel and she begins to tear up.

there's another knock on her door. she wipes the tears away as she gently pulls one of the straps down and off her shoulder.

that night she looks at the canvas delighted.
"A masterpiece"

2009

2010-01-09T14:02:00.001-05:00

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
made myself a home. met the love of my life.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i think my resolution was to quit smoking. so yes! i did keep my resolution.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth or get pregnant?
literally - more than half

4. Did anyone close to you get married?
casey & miah got married - everyone else just got engaged.

5. Did anyone close to you die?
no, thankfully so.

6. Travel?
this is the one year that i pretty much stayed put, sadly.

7. Did you move anywhere?
as of october i'm a proud west ghent resident.

8. What was the best month?
every month has gotten better.

9. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
i'd like to be completely 100% debt free!

10. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
too personal to share on here. but the day definitely changed my life.

11. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
moving to ghent. paying all of my own bills all on my own!

12. What was your biggest failure?
staying at a company i hated working for

13. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing serious. thank God.

14. What was the best thing you bought/were given?
justin built me a beautiful bike. christmas was amazing too.

15. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my niece olivia's behavior always merits celebration.

16. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed?
ha. pshh. uh can't talk about that.

17. Where did most of your money go?
rent and bills!

18. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving to ghent. falling in love!

19. What song will always remind you of 2009?
how about, "middle cyclone" - neko case (the whole album) & "home" - edward sharp & the magnetic zeros

20. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier!
ii. richer or poorer? poorer. i was living at home this time last year. haha

21. What do you wish you'd done more of?
travel

22. What do you wish you'd done less of?
working

23. How did you spend New Year's Eve/Day?
my nye party at the sandler center

24. What was an unexpected surprise?
dating justin

25. Did you fall in love in 2009?
yes!

26. What was the best concert you've been to this year?
wilco in dc

27. What was your favorite TV program?
i don't watch much tv but i really love no reservations.

28. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn't dislike this time last year?
we'll skip this one.

29. What was the best book you read?
the road - cormac mccarthy earlier this year

30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
beck's record club. edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros. "reh dog"

31. What did you want and get?
i wanted a real life. one with everything exactly as they were. no more fake people. no more fake feelings. etc. and i pretty much got exactly that.

32. What did you want and not get?
a puppy. and to go to greece.

33. What was your favorite film of this year?
fantastic mr. fox / up in the air / coraline / inglorious bastards

34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
family dinner followed by dinner and dancing with some close friends. also got tickets to see wilco in dc.

35. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
i would have liked a better work atmosphere

36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
black. gray. white. comfort. jewelry made from other things? that about sums it up

37. What kept you sane?
a lot of prayer. friends and fam.

38. What political issue stirred you the most?
HA! where do i even start?

39. Who did you miss?
my best friend!

40. Random Memories from 2009?
random trips to DC. visiting friends in other states. seeing old faces. falling in love.

imagination v reality

2009-12-02T13:50:00.004-05:00

a lady came in my store today to pay her bill.
just as most customers do - while processing their payment for them - she began to make conversation with me.

her - "your necklace is beautiful."
me - "oh, thank you. it was a gift."
her - "yeah...christmas is coming up. after this bill i won't have any money to buy gifts! Lord knows, i won't be getting any."

i continue with my process. counting money. pulling up screens. closing out screens. counting more money.
i attempt to pull up her account just as i always do in any interaction with a customer so as to discover a possible sale.

me - "ma'am...is the account under your name?"
her - "no. well. yes, it should be."
me - "last four digits of the social so i can access the account please?"
her - "0725"
me - "hmm...that doesn't seem to be working. 0...7...2...5 ... yeah, its not working."
her - "okay. well try his. 5560."
me - "ah. okay...that worked. can i have the password on the account please?"
her - "password? what password?"
me - "well, its saying here that there is a password attached to the account. i cannot discuss the account with you without the password"
her - "well, first of all, my social should be attached to the account as of april of last year...we keep having this problem. second, i don't know about any password."
me - "that's fine. we'll call your husband and get this all straightened out."
her - "he's not my husband..."
me - "oh...okay. my apologies. we'll call mr. . . and get this all straightened out."
- i pick up the receiver. i dial his number. -

* ring ring*

her- "yeah. he never wanted to marry me."

* ring ring *

her - "we bought a house together. we had a business together. we had a child together. we sign contracts together. but he never wanted to marry me. *sigh* but, i love him. and i know he loves me. he just doesn't show it very often. good luck getting him, by the way. i haven't had much luck lately."

* ring ring*

- how awful, i think. -
- suddenly, i'm awaken from my thoughts as he answers...

him - "HELLO?"
me - "hi mr...This is Julia from verizon wireless."
him - "i'm not interested."
me - "oh, no sir, i have ... in the store here and she explained to me that she is authorized on the account. i just want to verify that."
him - ".... is there?"
me - "yes sir."
him - "what is she doing there?"
me - "well can i first get your name and your full social as well as the password on the account"
- he gives me the information & i enter it in. it all checks out -
me - well, .... is here in the store paying the bill and she explained to me the complications the two of you have been having whenever you guys try to access the account. i'm just attempting to straighten it all out for you guys.
him - "so she paid the bill?"
me - "yes sir. for the exact past due amount. would you like to add ms..... as an authorized user on the account?"
him - "....."
me - "sir? are you still there?"
him - "no. i don't know her. i'm not authorizing anything, and i never will. tell that bitch to leave me alone." * click *

- i look at the woman.

her- "can i speak with him?"

-she's hopeful. i put down the receiver. -

her - "so did you work it out?"
me - "ma'am..."
- inside i'm scrambling. i feel awful. i don't want to break this woman's heart anymore than it already is. -
me - "uh...the...the line dropped. he must have lost the call?"
her - "oh..well...let me try calling him."
- i begin to sweat -
her - "weird. it went straight to voicemail."
- i feel a nervous expression form on my face -
her - "*sigh* don't worry about it, dear. I'll talk to him tonight about it. we'll just have to come in together."
- she pauses in her thoughts. hand over her mouth. her eyebrows are pressed in confusion.
me - "what the HELL is happening right now?" i think. i'm speechless. i want to comfort her but know it isn't in my place.
- the woman is restless. she paces the store. she tries calling again -
her - " shit." she says under her breath. "he answered and hung up."
- she tries again -
her - "that bastard!"
- she tries again as she wipes away the tears forming in her eyes -
her - "thank you for your help"
- as she walks out, i see her try again. and again. -

In this business i've seen grown men calculate their affairs, i've seen secret messages, i've seen pictures of other women, bribes, "they can take my house, as long as i got my phone"s, starvation in place of missed communication, and hearts broken. you may not believe this - but in this industry - things get way too personal. you hear peoples stories, whether you like it or not.

its kind of driving me nuts. i need to find a new job.

there's a hole in her pocket and now she has no home

2009-11-18T14:04:00.006-05:00

i haven't eaten anything but a bowl of edemame & 2 slices of munster cheese the past two days.it hasn't been because i can't afford to eat, or because i've been to busy to eat. simply because i haven't had an appetite. yesterday, even - i went to "dinner" with some old friends and i ate nothing. if you know me, you know that this is weird. today i tried to force myself to eat, but it's almost as if my body is rejecting anything i put near my mouth. who knows.

i've also had the desire to smoke a cigarette more than once the past few days. i've gone a good while without smoking one, which i'm very proud about. (s/n: people are always really surprised that as a christian i've admitted to smoking cigarettes. my response to that is: c.s. lewis also smoked cigarettes (ha!). cigarettes are just another thing to get addicted to & rely on & is also very unhealthy...which is the only reason i've given it up. it wasn't out of conviction. it wasn't because it was defining my christianity or lack there of or whatever. i quit because its a filthy habit.) what's weird is that just last week, there was someone standing outside of my building smoking one and i could smell it and it made me feel sick to my stomach. but then yesterday night, i dreamed of sitting in the papasan on my balcony under the winter sky and just thinking with one. or maybe a clove light with some blueberry tea. yum. i have a whole pack of cigarettes sitting on my dresser. did i smoke one? no. why do i still have them? to prove to myself that i can really, really quit. not just because i don't have them lying around. i have no idea why i shared this with you.

in addition to a lack of appetite & the spark of past addictions, i've been having these really weird dreams lately. all of the people, places, and situations in my life - from childhood to now - that i've always felt have someway, somehow made me feel insecure but all mashed together. what odd dreams to have, huh? like in one dream- i'm sitting at a table with my high school sweet heart . we walk over to a table with all of his friends and they just sit and whisper with each other about me and then i wake up. in another dream - there is a girl from my childhood that i would always see at the same auditions i went on. there she was, watching me on stage and all i can hear during my performance is her laugh filling the auditorium as she sits and points at me in disgust.

i feel that maybe my body & even my dreams have responded to the feelings in my heart. its the same story. its like my heart has these hands that grow and grow but can't seem to grasp anything. but these hands keep trying because all the hearts ever known to be true is that loving, even in the most general sense, is the hardest but also the most rewarding thing you can ever do. its an uncomfortable place to be. i wish i had a name for this feeling because what ever it is, is the most unfortunate of feelings. its like vertigo or food poisoning or looking at the sun for too long.

my next post is going to be about how lately there have been ahelluvalotta happenstances that keep making me think i need to be back in europe. this is the truth. but for now - i have nothing else to say.

the lonely nights divide us in two

2009-10-27T10:36:00.004-04:00

the past few days have been great ones. I found myself wishing i had my camera with me several times...so please remind me to start carrying it around so that i can show you all my joy for the lately in pictures...

- thursday was ending our separation from our favorite place - cogan's. i didn't get my california dreamin this time, but they pasta was sooo good, gurl.

- friday was desert at cheesecake factory & where the wild things are - which justin hated.

- saturday was dinner at longboard's in downtown portsmouth & an aventinus at the bier garden then tanqueray with sarah & josiah till, 5 am. don't ask why. especially when we had to be on set at 9 AM. . . ugh

- sunday - 9 AM call time. filming lasted till about 6. looong day on 3 hours of sleep. Justin also surprised me with a house warming gift - the sartorialist book!

- monday was 2 interviews, which went pretty well, but i'm not sure if i want to take either position, then lounging around till dinner @ tortilla west & pottery painting at Color Me Mine! Justin wanted to paint me a coffee cup & I painted him a cereal bowl. we also read 2 more chapters in the book we are reading together, The Thief of Always by Clive Barker. I love the Holiday House! I wish it was a reality....Justin says I shouldn't be so quick to that conclusion...

Coming up:

- 2 days of 10-7
- thursday: Costumes & Indy watching & pumpkin carving ( yes, again )
- Satruday: Halloween!! Kal's party? What else is happening?!?

someone find me a job with weekends off so i can have more days like these!!!

home is wherever i'm with you

2009-10-14T12:52:00.003-04:00

i've neglected you, blog. i'm so so sorry.
i tried taking the tumblr turn and although i'll still be posting beautiful things on there, my mind has been too crowded, and i feel that reverie has always been a safe place for my mind to put its feet up...

i honestly have no idea where to start in describing the past few months of my life. so many things have changed. so many faces have faded. so may faces have become so familiar and comforting.

for starters - i've moved into a teeny little 2 bedroom apartment in the heart of ghent. it's been a dream of mine for a while now to be able to live exactly where i want, in an apartment that i really love, with someone that i trust and have a good relationship with. all of those things have turned into reality and to top it all off - i can walk to my favorite restaurants and i live within blocks of some of my favorite people. things have been coming together slowly but i can finally say that i feel at home somewhere. work has been a contradiction of feelings. some days i feel proud of what i've been able to accomplish professionally at my age, but most days, i find myself dissatisfied. dissatisfied that i have to fill in spots for people that don't work as hard as i do and dissatisfied that i haven't been able to travel as much as i used to. my office, (aka my portsmouth store) is a huge red jail cell. it's funny how sometimes in life, you'll feel completely satisfied and fulfilled in every area but one. in my life at least. i wonder a lot of times why i can't bring myself to demanding for more as far as work goes - and i find myself going home & cleaning or organizing or planning to fill the lack of challenge at work. ultimately...when i wake up most mornings, the only thing i like about going to work is the money and the drive there - there is no substance in what i do and it makes me sick to my stomach. there have been meetings and discussions about more business ventures and people wanting to use my "brilliant mind" to put more money in their pockets. i've come to the realization that professionally - i have no idea what i want to do and if anything, i'd like to take a break from working to pursue the things i really love. oh man. i am r a m b l i n g g g g . . .

...besides work...there are many things i've been so very grateful for. i have established great weekly traditions with some great women aka ladies nights - which i have been missing so much. i've got a great roommate who has been spoiling me with cool things to make my house a home. my family is healthy and happy. and of course! i have a boyfriend who has been THE most amazing friend and the most nurturing and has taken care of me and helped out so much and relieved a lot of the stress i've had from moving and work and etc. speaking of dreams - at times, with him, i feel like i'm living one. because its everything i've ever wanted and more. and then, i realize that it isn't a dream and his hand is really holding mine and that reality can sometimes be so sweet.

coming up:

- oct 16 - house warming party 9pm
- oct 17 - DC/Ikea to buy some last min things
- oct 31 - halloween! justin & i are dressing up as Archie & Veronica. tell me that isn't the best?
- first 2 weeks of Nov - Mom & Dad are in Italy =(
- Nov 16 - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros in DC
- Nov 26 - thanksgiving!
- Nov 27 - Indy's 1st Birthday!!

thanks for letting me ramble.

2009-08-28T17:42:00.006-04:00

TUM
BLR

best friends day!

2009-08-19T01:12:00.001-04:00

Best Friends Day 7 from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

come with. its going to be uh may zinng

making the good Lord laugh a little bit

2009-08-18T13:52:00.003-04:00

i've come to realize that i'm at a point in my life where it can be really easy to just settle and get comfortable with things. i know and believe in my potential and i honestly don't care how arrogant that sounds. i'm terrified of settling with anything that isn't challenging me as a person and helping me grow. my dreams to open paper heart have been dulled by being wrapped up in my real day time job as it's gotten busier and busier and i continue to go to sleep at night thinking, "God, I hope this isn't it. I need a way to break out of this..."

Initially my mindset was, "Julia, you have a job. Be thankful for it" and don't get me wrong I am. But I have been working for this company for almost 5 years now and all I have to show for it is a great resume and a paycheck. It's definitely been a great learning tool as far as running a business goes, but i feel like i'm past that. i'm ready to move forward. a lot of people have been wanting updates on paper heart and i haven't really had anything to say. I can say that one of my goals in life is definitely to be a business owner and i worked very hard at it for a good two or three months - just doing a lot of research, getting advice from other business owners, and talking to investors. I was set and ready to do it, but then i got cold feet. i was inches away from signing a contract with an investor and started getting nervous about if i really wanted to take on such a huge responsibility. i started thinking about money and bills and being 22 and then being 40 and being hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. i lost sleep over it. it was like a huge revelation to me.

so here i am, 22, working a job that "pays the bills". Stressful, but not at all challenging.
here's this dream that is completely attainable but extremely intimidating. and as much as i want to do it, and am willing to, why don't i feel passionate about it like i used to? not so much that i'm not passionate about it as, why am i not willing to take the risks i know its going to take. why am i not ok with the possibility of it not working out? i feel like if you make a life investment, which a business IS - a life investment, you should have zero doubts and it should be something burning inside of you. a few months ago i had this urge and need to fulfill that dream, and now its just not there?

maybe i'm just burned out from running these stores? maybe i've come to realize that 4 walls isn't for me anymore. maybe i'm being smart? whatever the reason, i'm struggling internally with questions i had when i was 18 - only this is kind of part two of the question - i've landed a good job - but what is it that i really really want to invest my time and life in?

and this part 2 of the question has spread to every area of my life. i won't get into that now but, even the thought of getting married and not being with someone that i know is going to keep things at a growing and challenging and beautiful place like that, i don't even want it.

so here's a question: what should julia do with her tiny little life? where do you picture me in 20 years?

"you give and take away"

2009-08-12T00:58:00.006-04:00

i don't really feel it necessary to use too many words for this one, so here are a list of things i've learned the past month or so:

1) the difference and sometimes very hard to see dividing line between a blessing & a curse.
2) 7/10 women cannot be trusted. especially if A) you hardly know her and she wants to be your best friend and "play" all of a sudden & B) if you yourself have already warned other people that she cannot be trusted. please don't let this offend any of you, but its so true. and all of us women know it. (and this is absolutely not applicable to anyone that i know is following this blog.)
3) that the constitution of family is a very great learning tool & that it should definitely be valued, no matter what walk in life you are, or how smart you think you are.
4) how much i hate being on the other side of the, "i can't believe that is coming out of her mouth" - line. ALWAYS no matter how awful or off you're feeling...think before you speak! NO EXCEPTIONS!
5) the TRUE value of a dollar.

and finally (the same lesson i've learned time and time again):

6)) No matter how close you are to someone; no matter how much you have done for them, defended them, or have been loyal to them; and no matter how much you feel like or are told you are their best friend, always guard your heart, & realize that you only really see who your real friends are when times are tough and the dust clears. ( the EXACT reason why, sarahmarie & ruth have been my best friends for years. we're always honest with one another and have always been each other's biggest fans. i need more people like the two of them in my life.) It is absolutely all about how they pick their fights, how they defend you, & what kind of bandwagon they are trying to hop on. To put things bluntly, until they've stuck it out with you, you should never invest your happiness in anyone else but yourself & your god. Always prepare yourself for the falling out, because you never ever know when it will come. continue to be a good friend to them BUT you are not required to give back what isn't being given to you. in one word: reciprocity.

i'm sorry if this post was depressing but its absolutely everything i've been thinking lately.
& p.s. i've been having a really reallly great few weeks.
& p.p.s. i have this weekend off and its going to be awesome
& p.p.p.s. i'm so excited about best friend's day in richmond with sarahmarie!

ciao.

2009-08-08T11:40:00.001-04:00

doing a tiny guest appearance during sound check w/ yokefellow @ the boot tonight. come out! its going to be a good show. with over the ocean - 10p / $5

covers

2009-08-07T12:01:00.001-04:00

2009-08-05T17:43:00.002-04:00

my art/music/fashion/culture tumblr can be found here: JULIAGIRL

you eat a match & laugh...i catch on fire

2009-08-05T00:57:00.005-04:00

pretty good movie although, i don't know why it didn't settle as well with me as i would have hoped it would. maybe its the realization that in some weird way, i've become summer. not in every way, but i could say that at the rate my thinking has been going at, her outlook on love is pretty much the direction i've been pointing towards. i hate admitting that, because quite frankly, zoey deschanel's character made me angry most of the movie mainly because of her disrespect & lack of heart & because of the way she reminded me of every guy that has ever broken my heart. but tonight i came to the realization that although my thoughts on love are completely realistic and healthy, there is so much lacking in all of those things. lacking in faith, in hope, in God's desire for me to be with someone, etc. its the "yes man culture" / getting my head out of clouds / summer finn syndrome.

my parents have been married for 30 years. geeze. you would think...

i can, say though that this movie has awakened my sentimental sensitivity, again. i found myself missing a lot of what comes with love when i haven't really felt that way in a good while. i have honestly been praying that God would take away the hard parts i've been feeling building up. His answers, i can feel, are starting to shave away and soften those parts...

Cogunz

2009-08-04T23:11:00.001-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I'm on conan y'all.

2009-08-04T00:29:00.001-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2

2009-08-01T16:27:00.003-04:00

icp

City hall

2009-07-31T13:55:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2009-07-30T13:51:00.001-04:00

A person's capacity to hurt is so real.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2009-07-29T20:16:00.001-04:00

because knowledge is power

2009-07-29T11:33:00.001-04:00

Obama's health care plan. PLEASE educate yourselves.

I WILL refuse to pay taxes that fund abortions. No questions asked.

3D movie?!? What???

2009-07-27T23:55:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

a lesson learned

2009-07-27T10:57:00.007-04:00

i'd like to preface this entry by saying that my blog is a collection of thoughts and opinions about the world around me and that i appreciate you all reading it and allowing me to be as personal as i am and have been on here without being judgmental, (or being vocal about it atleast..hah!). i've had this thing for a few years now and as unimportant i feel my life is, people do read it and although i don't know why, i'm greatful for it. i have a lot on my mind a lot of the time & i feel better about being completely transparent on here because anyone that wants to read it can and i don't really hold anything back. maybe it has to do with the fact that i hate confrontation & try my best to avoid drama. i figure if you read it, you read it, if you don't, you don't. it's all your choice. so i guess, thank you & i'm sorry? now...for todays topic...

* sigh * so...yeah, it's definitely been a crazy week.
i stayed in most nights and the only night i really went out was on saturday for the receiver show. maybe it was what andy calls, "coop loop", or built up negative energy from work, family, & financial stresses, but apparently all of my negativity came out at once. ( i guess the alcohol didn't help, either ). either way, i hope that those that were there know that it was definitely just an off night for me. i'm stressed out and have a lot on my plate right now. i shouldn't have let you see that side of me and i regret it.

maybe all of this isn't a big deal, but i don't want my friends to feel unpleasant vibes from me. just know that it was just an off night for me and it'll definitely be something that i'm working on.i'm greatful to mary for bringing this to my attention and she's sweet for being honest with me about everything that was said. without her, i probably wouldn't even have noticed my being negative that night. she didn't have to come to me and admit what she admitted and fixed things, but that's the kind of friend that you know will always be honest with you and i appreciate that.

i am a work in progress. i am by no means perfect. but please trust me when i say that i'm trying to work it all out.

p.s.

2009-07-25T14:21:00.002-04:00

this is painful:

TONIGHT

2009-07-25T10:57:00.006-04:00

Annual Ghent Bar Tour is going on today. If you didn't know, all of the proceeds go to The Hope House Foundation. Yay for Ghent giving back to the community for a good cause...

Come celebrate the city tonight:
Receiver & DJ Cornbread at The Boot > 9pm > $5 > 21+

See you there!

one wing

2009-07-24T00:35:00.011-04:00

there's a feeling that has been creeping in & today's news has magnified it times 1 billion...

just found out some news about a girl i had been best friends with for about 6+ years. she was like my sister and besides ruth, she was one of the people i considered to be the closest to me. we met at a bible study when we were 16 and her, ruth, and i had been inseparable ever since. through years of break ups & boyfriends & heartaches, apparently she's found the love of her life and is engaged and living the dream we had always talked about.

unfortunately this past summer, she and i had a falling out, and as much as i would love to say that this is great news, it hurts to know that i can't be there to celebrate this time with her. i felt real pain and anger when all of this went down and up until finding out this news today, i had been ok with just living separate lives and never speaking again. i guess what comes to mind were our plans to have each other as bridesmaids and would predict how old we would be when we actually tied the knot. when i found out, i thought about all of the bridesmaids dresses hanging in my closet and with no disrespect to them, i probably still only talk to 3 / 7 brides that had me in their weddings. i think about the hundreds of dollars i spent on hideous dresses and about how i didn't really know most of them and am still confused as to why i was asked. i think about all of these things and compare it to how overjoyed i would have been to hear the news. how i would have cried and celebrated with her and how much this particular bride would have meant to me. . .

why are we even still fighting, again? i ask myself

and why does this sort of situation seem to happen so often in my life?
why have some of the most meaningful relationships in my life ended this way?
why have the people that have walked away from me given me such b.s., puzzling reasons?

reasons that come to mind:

- because of a stupid boy i kissed when i was 16 and him being, "the love of (her) life"

-"i don't know julia, it's like, the way you hold your cigarette..." (yes. a real reason given to me before)

-i accept your apology, but i still have the right to be bitter

-i can't give you what you want and deserve in life right now.

seriously, these things. e s c a p e me.
why are humans so weird and crazy?? why do some choose to grieve over reasons that for others are not applicable and in some cases, childish and petty?
i swear that while i was on my end loving, loving, loving, they were actually out for blood!

why
why
why
why

why have i lost so many of the people i love for reasons unexplainable to me?
is there really something wrong with me or am i just easy to blame?
and if there is something wrong with me, why won't anyone just give me a straight, solid, valid answer?
why are the reasons people give me so unsatisfying in my need to grow and be molded into something better?
should i even care if the reasons they're giving me are so completely and utterly bogus to me?
should i keep going and continue to cut them out of my life?

there my friends, lies the problem. its that i do care. and i wish i could still have these people in my life. and all of this JUST to say that this feeling is gathering like clouds blocking the sun and ready to rain. its this, strange fear of letting anyone in, all because of these past hurts and my obsession to avoid any and all situations that could possibly lead me to feel this hurt and upset over love lost. i don't ever want to feel this feeling again. ever. and the fact of the matter is when you do lose love, the only thing that hurts more than missing the person is not understanding why you've lost them. i can't do this again. i can't feel this upset, over and over.

i need good answers. i need understanding. right. now.

and this blog. is way too personal. oh well.

tiny bubblezz

2009-07-21T23:37:00.001-04:00

lifetime upgrade

2009-07-20T14:54:00.003-04:00

"It was just ugly." - heidi
"Well, it was double ugly." - kors
"That was taste. less." - nina
"I...am about...to...lose it..." - tim gunn

Proj Run PLUS a new show about the models?!? YESSSSSSS. i'm so excited about this!!

please give me an inch of your face. an inch of your strength.

2009-07-19T22:51:00.011-04:00

i'm tired. physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
i need help. i need to find clarity. i need to readjust and find balance. i can honestly say that i have never felt so drained in my life. i really really hate this feeling. i find my self needing to stop and breathe deeply a lot more lately, almost as a way to release the stress from my body.

i dont even know. i'm l o s i n g it.

for example. this past weekend.
work was / has been stressful
got lost while trying to find places several different times this weekend . . . one of the times, turning what should have been a 20 minute drive into a two hour drive. i forgot about a very important meeting with some very important people on friday and had to shamefully reschedule it. saturday, i completely blanked out and forgot what i was doing mid client meeting. broke down on the phone with kal within minutes of answering the phone. i mean, without getting into it, there's a list for this past weekend. so much proof that i am losing my mind. it had seriously been one of the most trying and tests of patience in a very long time. Saturday night was a little better. went to a pool party at mary's then headed to fantastic planet with kal, andy, and michelle. met up with a few old faces and had a decent time. i was pretty determined to make sunday a better day because it honestly couldn't have gotten any worse.

and, i must say, today was better. today's huffs and puffs were only from working hard and mostly sighs of relief because things were actually moving smoothly. had a shoot with Christian Agha which was a lot of fun. it was a very exciting shoot for me because i really didn't have to do that much work and was given a lot of room to be creative. the crew was so professional & talented. haven't done a shoot with that many people behind the camera lense but for a 5 hour shoot, it went by very quickly and easily and especially fun. they let me style the shoot so i decided to wear a few of the dresses momma gave me from when she was my age - a thai silk floral print dress & an all white floor length open back halter dress. both so beautiful & meaningful. can't wait for you all to see the shots

also went to church today for the first time in a while because of work. brother in law gave a good word. he touched a lot on the condition of the heart and how without Christ we would be without hope. he talked about broken hearts not being able to love. not being able to trust. not being able to commit. but again, without Christ, the heart would stay broken. . . talk about God telling you exactly what you need to hear exactly when you need to hear it.

i'm praying that this week will be better and that i will be able to keep a cool head.
wish me luck.

- julia

P.S. someone please call me tomorrow and remind me that i'm working in suffolk and not portsmouth because i can already tell you that i'm going to forget.

Nightmare

2009-07-17T14:34:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2009-07-16T20:46:00.002-04:00

This top makes me look plump. Its cute though. Oh well...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Testing 123

2009-07-16T18:58:00.001-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

stylecon

2009-07-16T14:37:00.004-04:00

Amelia Earhart

I read an article yesterday on the top 10 amazing women in American History and she was on the list. After reading a little about her life, I got really curious about her whereabouts and started doing a little research. While sifting through a few references online, I couldn't help but notice how sophisticated she was!

take a look:

I absolutely love her style. Comfortable and feminine, but with a masculine touch, almost as a statement of her purpose to break the mold. I can see a lot of fall lines doing this...

no reservations

2009-07-14T13:46:00.003-04:00

i just need to be anothony bourdain

i feel like i'm like this at every meal but how much more awesome would it be and how much more disgustingly taken by good food would i be if i could do it and get paid for it and travel all over the world just to do it? ultimate dream job...no joke.

2009-07-14T00:02:00.012-04:00

indulgence is measured by, but not limited to, the length of your arms and the depth of your pockets. i need to learn/master s e l f . c o n t r o l.

oh hay

2009-07-13T16:42:00.003-04:00

pre family pic circa christmas 08. hallp. so funny.

2009-07-12T01:36:00.006-04:00

this shook me.

" i wish i could know the man i would have been without them "

so honest and telling. i thank God that i have never been addicted to drugs but i wonder how many people that struggle with addictions ponder this way and how much pain it would bring.

thank God that through Him we have hope...

via postsecret.com

wilco will love you, baby.

2009-07-11T11:34:00.018-04:00

wilco was amazing. dc was amazing. sarahmarie is amazing!
my week of vacay started out pretty slow and was very relaxing.
started out wednesday by having lunch with andy and ty at machismo in norfolk. i'd never been there before and i really loved it. what got me was how big their burritos were! wrapped, they looked like dirty diapers. haha...right after lunch i left to pick sarah up in richmond. i didn't realize how much i missed taking long drives on my own. i don't know why but there's something comforting about it. listening to mixes and just you and your thoughts to sort yourselves out. i definitely got a lot of thinking done. picked up sarah and headed for dc. we showed up early enough to beat rush hour. (although, rush hour is kind of a constant in DC, so that really doesn't make any sense) We stopped at my aunt's for a bit to drop off our things and took the rail to georgetown for a quick dinner at clyde's. don't go there. they had great appetizers & cocktails but awful entrees. started freaking out bc our gps aka my blackberry was dead, (which also meant that i couldn't tweet about my night!! haha), and found out that the shuttle from the rail to the wolf trap stopped running at 8. we were finished with dinner at 745 and def wouldn't make it on time. took a stinky $30 cab ride to the venue and missed almost all of conor oberst's set.

the venue was very beautiful. apparently we missed the memo that we could actually bring drinks/food in with us and ended up spending $7 on XX equis which we couldn't even bring in past lawn seats. saw jon golike and shawn and headed to row T in the front orchestra section. boy were those some grrreeeaattt seats. i was very surprised to see the array of wilco listeners at the show. there were people from all walks of life there, very different from the audience i've seen at any other show i've ever been to. besides coldplay maybe ;-). wilco played great and i fell in love even more.

(that one was for kal, obviously.)

after the show we were hungry and headed back to georgetown to get a bight. we asked around for a good place to get a late night meal and everyone we talked to suggested Bisto Francaise - a 4 star french restaurant that has full service till 3 am! By far my favorite restaurant in the DC area. look how charming! i felt like i was in europe again...

after dinner we took another $30 cab ride home. i spent a ridiculous amount of money while i was there...but we were celebrating. no regrets. I am once again passionate about finding someway to end up in DC again. but for good this time. i definitely wish we could have stayed longer...seems to be sarah's and my favorite place to hang out and be in love. haha. she's the best date EVER.

got home the next day and immediately had a shoot w/ josiah. preview!:

josiah marroquin photography 2009

then to a style session and then dinner and then home. it was a looong day.

yesterday had lunch with kelly - a treat for me, simply because i haven't seen her in soo long - then headed home and cleaned out my car & bedroom, got re-organized in preparation for my going back to work. had dinner w andy mellon at tortilla west and had monster nachos! met up with everyone to see a movie and then headed to the wave for a bit to dance.

before i go, i'd like to apologize for my lack of posts lately. i've been so very busy. thank you for reading! i'm back to work this week. another key added to my keychain via getting this portsmouth store running again. wish me luck!

kelly & jesse's wedding tonight. its going to be a beautiful time...

weekend recap

2009-07-06T00:32:00.010-04:00

so. i'm 22. kind of finally feel more at ease with the age i'm at. i don't know if you understand how i mean, but i do.

friday was birthday eve. woke up to a beautiful breezy day and had lunch w/ kal did a little shopping, got my nails done & then met up with kal again and saw public enemies. rushed home and that night hung out with melissa, kal, amy, gabe, bart, eric, mary, andy, & jamie. we had hibatchi & sushi at sai gai in norfolk. went to swirl for ice cream on colley and after that the wave to dance and ty/josiah/jimmy/cory/paul/& michelle met up. we danced. we hung. good times.

saturday was my real birthday day. woke up to an empty house and had lunch w/ the family and ate red velvet cake that sister elise made for me. it was a pretty quiet lunch. then picked up kal and headed to ty & andy's to meet up with everyone to grill out and later walked to see the fireworks.

today went to church, yelled at an apple care rep over the phone, had lunch & coffee with andy mellon then headed to another great dinner with the fam. added another coffee table 'book' to my collection when i randomly found a copy of the april 1979 edition of Réalités mag...truly a feast for the eyes.(!!!). dad left for Rhode Island till friday and wend and brought the boy soup because he's been sick. after went and played "lips" w keith, elise, & justin. dominated. duh.

pics:

thank you, friends, for being good people and caring enough to share in celebrating life with me. you are all really the best.

wilco.
wilco.
wilco.

can't waitttt.

070409

2009-07-05T01:43:00.005-04:00

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" - a.n.

little kidz rock

2009-07-02T18:25:00.003-04:00

My birthday is in 2 days. Wanna get me a gift? Make a donate to little kids rock & help save music education in our public schools!!

cool! 10 day vacation here i cooommmeeee......!

Michael Jackson and his fashion legacy...

2009-07-01T14:20:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I was doing my daily blog scan and of course, there was an assortment of entries written in dedication to Michael and his life. Although the last decade or so of it was spent being called awful names in the media, it seems as though people have come to realize the magnitude of his influence and genius. It's pretty safe to say that Michael has in some way shape or form been a part of our lives growing up. Every time you're on a dance floor, the ultimate cool points go to the kid that can moon walk. Free Willy? Smooth Criminal? Jam?? You cannot deny it! There are even indie artists giving their two cents on how they've been influenced. Check out stereogum.com for a great article about that...

I also came across a great article on newyorkmagazine.com that portrayed MJ as a style icon. I clicked through the pictures...and couldn't help but see SO much of today's fashion in everything Michael hit the stage in. He originated the metallic, the military jacket, the wayferer, the aviator, biker gloves, and the fedora, just to name a few. Next thing we knew, the runway was drowning in it. (Most notably - Balmain, YSL, & Cavalli). Designers have an affinity for creating something timeless and celebrities, aim to emulate the same. Who better than to use Michael Jackson as an inspiration? Whether or not it was intentional...fashion has taken direction from MJ...and I am genuinely and pleasantly surprised at the comparisons I've found...

So, this month's Stylecon: Michael Jackson

Michael interpreted in fashion today (click to enlarge - collage pics from various online sources):

It really is hard to deny. You have to have been living under a rock to not see Michael in fashion today.
Here's to you Michael! Thank you for everything you were...

you and i, me and you

2009-06-27T15:20:00.005-04:00

i can die happy. mom & dad bought me front orchestra seats for their vienna show...i wonder if she'll be there?!?

i want this for my life.

2009-06-24T11:03:00.005-04:00

there are pieces of myself that are disappearing
maybe its just a shift of focus
maybe its dealing with every part of reality
maybe its because of the new moon

who knows?

in a lot of ways i like it
its kind of like, i freak out at first, but then i realize...
things are just falling off of the sides of that narrowing end of the arrow - - - >
i'm thankful that i've started freaking out because i've come to realize that it means i'm being focused on what i need for myself rather than what the usual has always seemed to be. i need to start taking my own advice. God first, Me second, everything else can fall behind...

2009-06-22T09:57:00.004-04:00

got offered a job a few weeks ago and was really excited only to be let down. they wanted to hire me, but are being pushed by corporate to hire employees with degrees. are we serious? so you're telling me, you'd rather trust someone that has a degree in something COMPLETELY unrelated to your multi-million dollar corporation than someone that has worked for the company and moved up in the company over the last 4 years? that, my friends is what i call bull shit. bull shit. i'm sorry i'm cursing but it is very disappointing to me. that i can't be supported by a company i have worked hard for for the past 4 years...

so, it must be said, that i am re-thinking quite a few things.
please forgive me for being frustrated this week but i feel like a lot of my hard work is being flushed and unnoticed because a piece of paper that i don't have.

kimmy was a great encouragement today and said that everything would be ok because she knows that verizon wasn't my "final destination". i'm praying for direction and i'm still holding on to my dreams for this boutique. i mean, if you own your own business, you don't need a degree...juuust saying..

my birthday is in 12 days. what . to . even. dooo.

2009-06-20T10:26:00.006-04:00

there is power in:

honesty
kindness
patience
self control
bighting your tongue
selflessness

i've been trying to do these things and no matter how bad things get i'm determined to keep on. stooping to immature levels was never an option and will never be an option for me. i've never had so much peace in my life before and i'm thankful because not many people can say that. i sincerely and truly believe that you cannot have true peace in your life if you are constantly choosing to hurt & take reign of things out of your control. also including, the need to debilitate others just to make yourself feel better. i must admit that in the past i've chosen that route and yes, it felt good, but at the end of the day, what kind of woman does that make me?

"A political victory, a rise in rents, the recovery of your sick, or return of your absent friend, or some other quite external event, raises your spirits, and you think good days are preparing for you. Do not believe it. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"so forget the politics of living alone and just dance till the morning light"

2009-06-17T11:39:00.004-04:00

slow club. neau fav.

2009-06-13T16:21:00.002-04:00

no. i am PERSONALLY not pregnant. but thanks for asking.
congrats to kelly/jesse & others. love you. your kidz bets be ready for crazy asian auntie julezzzz

WTFHYD?

2009-06-12T13:43:00.004-04:00

how weird is it that there are so many different temperments & outlooks & beliefs out there? theres a different measure of self control in everyone of us. a different level of maturity. of character. of grace. this week, i discovered it first hand. i'm disappointed in certain people and it's really sad to see what selfishness can do. how "fame" and the pursuit of "happiness" can affect you. i've realized that it takes a person with a sound mind, grounded in reality to really achieve their goals in a healthy way. if you aren't in that state, its easy to hurt yourself and hurt a lot of people that love you along the way.

and i've heard a lot of people say that its just the affects of youth, but no matter how young you are, you know the difference between right and wrong and hurting someone else is always up to you.

as i've said before, selfishness is the poison of my generation.
it is disgusting & sad.

2009-06-09T18:11:00.001-04:00

need

2009-06-09T12:15:00.002-04:00

Paris part 1 from The Facehunter Show on Vimeo.

tagged

2009-06-08T13:08:00.004-04:00

BEAUTY

Lip Gloss: Dior
Mascara: YSL
Shampoo: Dove. loove dove.
Moisturizer: neutrogena healthy skin w/ spf 15
Perfume: dolce & gabbana light blue
Nail Polish Color: anything closest to buff
Who Cuts Your Hair?: Bill at Angelo's Salon in downtown
Must Have Beauty Product?: Moroccan Oil

CLOTHES:

Jeans: bcbg or tsubi (when i can afford it. hah!)
Sneakers: adidas sambas for walking / Nike air prestos in XS for working out
Heels: nine west. all day all night
T-Shirt: kain
Day Dress: kimchi blue
Day Bag: anything leather
Evening Bag: clutches?
Favorite Accessory: my silver wrap around ring
Favorite Designer: labels: see by chloe, preen, stella mccartney
Current Obsession: sheer tops

HOME

Where do you live?: VBBB
Favorite Art: klimt, basquait, eduardo recife
Sheets: Bamboo!! so so comfortable
Stationary: crane & co.
Favorite Flowers: peonies
Favorite Gadget: macbook
Favorite Neighborhood Restaurant: bardo
Pajamas: shorts & a tee
Cocktail: disorono & ginger, a glass of wine, or aventinus

lamme.

2009-06-08T03:04:00.004-04:00

i feel like a drop of water in the bottom of a glass.

think about it . . .

and soon, i know i'm just going to evaporate.
i don't care about a n y of them.
i just don't like facing certain truths.

but as sarah said, "the sooner you do, the sooner it's over"
someone teach me how to do that.
none of them even matter to me. its me having to face truth that i hate.
and awkward situations. and people that don't deal with things the way i do.

even in his silence. still. i feel all of it...

oh, and i absolutely hate the whole, peripheral vision thing. dumbest.
i just don't want to be that last drop anymore.
i don't like feeling like i have to entertain certain thoughts. my own, even.
i don't like having to prove myself.

this is all truth. and i'm sorry if you think its ridiculous but, hi, welcome to my blog.

you soak up my heat / & sweat your beaded jewels to the street

2009-06-07T16:05:00.003-04:00

i can't stop listening to this song

wake up now to what you are and what you're not

2009-06-06T01:16:00.010-04:00

i really miss going out of town with a love and staying and discovering new diners and taking pictures and being happy. that is what i miss. i don't miss anyone in particular. i just miss being in love.

the other day kim and i went to the beach and i asked her if i she remembered me texting her, "i have a boyfriend." and her saying back, "i'm so so happy to hear you say that julia" and i asked her why she said it, and she explained it as simply being happy that i was able to feel love like she felt.

*puff. (that's my defeated noise in text form)

we had a girls night at bardo yesterday, which in the end, turned into unisex night. anyway, while at dinner, the girls and i discussed love and things like it and mid conversation i realized that a lot of what i feel is lacking stems from me not allowing myself to settle. which in many ways is better for my soul than anything else. for the first time in my life, i've found a group of girlfriends where each and every one of us is single and ok with it. maybe not completely ok with it, but, alright in that we aren't allowing ourselves to settle. and its not a superiority thing or something snobby. it's simply not allowing myself to be a floor mat, or a wallet in some dude's back pocket. thank you to nicole, michelle, amy, and ange for reassuring me that i wasn't alone and for showing me that it is ok to feel the way that i have been feeling because after all, it is what it is, and that settling is the worst thing you can do to yourself. and in talking with them, i've realized that in the past 3 months i've done a lot of weeding out and walking away from. in that i am proud of myself and can be satisfied. i'm allowed to miss those things, but how much more rewarding is love when there's reciprocity?

i just realized that i'm having a girl moment.
awkward.

2009-06-04T14:29:00.002-04:00

i only have one pair of jeans that fit me.
howwhatwherewhenwhyyyyyyy.....

everything in moderation

2009-06-01T09:59:00.005-04:00

Oh dear.
This month is looking pretty busy. I'm going to be traveling through different stores for work this month and then the last weekend of june i'll be in LA! I sincerely cannot believe my 22nd is only about a month away! Sometimes i think i forget how young i really am and worry too much about why and when and how when in reality i have plenty of time. i'm gonna keep pushing, but i'm going to try not to worry too much about things this year. i've worked really hard to make age 21 what it has been and maybe 22 can be a little more relaxin'! dave currie will be here in 2 weeks for the champagne only pool party. pretty excited about that.

i've been having a lot of weird dreams lately. i hate when you have a great dream but only remember snipets of them...
in one dream, i was at an event with mk and i asked her where she got her belt and she responded "H&M - ever heard of it?" uh...yeah?
in another dream i was at the doctor and she said that i was on the verge of being morbidly obese?
in another dream i was on a raft floating down the james holding a summer ale and smoking a blunt. i don't smoke weed in real life?
in another dream i was laying on a bed with my significant other, playing with our child and laughing.

i haven't even bothered reading up on what all these mean because whenever i do i end up very disappointed.

i hope i have a good summer. besides euro trip 08, the past two have been disastrous..........

all you soul searching people c'mon

2009-05-28T14:33:00.009-04:00

Listening to: Delta Spirit - "People C'mon"
Looking at: A man in a blue shirt typing away on his black mac book.
Location: Bean There Cafe

haven't really had much to say lately.
a lot of things have been changing and i've been in a lot of physical pain and blah blah. lately my thoughts have been about my next steps and about how a lot of us seem to be taking baby ones towards the same direction. its a great feeling and its good to be able to talk with good friends about what we've been wanting out of life. its all the same thing. higher callings, bigger dreams, and making those dreams a reality. i guess the thoughts haven't really been changing, but mores o the actions being taken towards them. i'm humbled to have the amazing people i have in my life. its funny because i've had the same conversation with different people about what i've shared with you before. the need to surround ourselves with people we believe are encouraging and influential for the better in our lives. we are eager to find truth in everything we are thinking, feeling, doing, loving...all of it and are doing so by a step 1: getting good vibes & doing this by surrounding ourselves with go getters and people that believe in a higher calling / bigger things / living a full life. YES. this is so amazing to me. God bless my friends. they are beautiful. Lord you answer prayer so quickly...how could i ever be impatient again?

along these lines we've discussed starting a bible study. all of us come from different parts of the walk. we're all from different types of churches and all believe the same thing but all want to get the same good word in the same specific setting...problem is we haven't necessarily found it yet. if you want to join, we'd love to have you. i've been praying about finding a great way to get back into the word and i think this is going to be a great start. we're determined to make it something beautiful...without judgement...without holding back...without people being afraid to be who they are but love God all the same. It'll be challenging too, because the Word is the word, and if it's sharp, its sharp, and all for the better. we'll have bible study and then introduce new music, art, culture, maybe even a new wine?? tell me what you all think about this.. .

in other news...

today, i realized that i was afraid. that i'm not as strong as i'd like to be.
i'm incredibly afraid of taking out a loan for paper heart. i'm incredibly afraid of it being unsuccessful. and i'm realizing that a good businesswoman cannot be afraid of that.

hulppp.

congratulations mr. quincampoix

2009-05-27T18:33:00.004-04:00

you've officially given up your little amelie.

ok. seriously

2009-05-26T20:18:00.005-04:00

if john & kate can't survive...who willlll....???

birfday

2009-05-24T13:04:00.005-04:00

i feel like i want to see how ny does the fourth of july.
who's down?

is it STILL friday?

2009-05-22T09:29:00.008-04:00

mmhmm. this has been a great week!
sky bar last night:

check out the rest here.
see you on the dance floor tonight!

summer

2009-05-21T13:59:00.011-04:00

Coldplay was incredible! It wasn't only a great show but a genuinely great time with amazing friends. Last night was all about group hugs, singing in harmonies at the top of our lungs, and finding enough room for a little lawn seat dancing. during the encore, aaron and i stood arm in arm and he looked over at me and said, "be here now, jules!" and it was honestly a great reminder of what it meant to really soak in each moment. sometimes i get too wrapped up in going going going that i don't embrace each moment and soak it in. so when he said that, i did and looked up at the stars and listened to my friends singing their hearts out and realized how much i have to be thankful for. stars and friends and great music and the ability to just, live. check out the pics from last night here.

tonight...sky bar grand opening! don't even know what to wear.
skybar needs to happen this summer. like, all the time.

God is good! What a great life...

2009-05-19T16:19:00.006-04:00

tomorrow i'm going to sit at bean there and finish my business plan.
i've asked melissa and sarah to model a few of the new items. really really cute stuff! i'm so excited for you all to see it. bart will be shooting, i will be styling, and i'm going to be asking bill from angelo's salon to do hair & makeup. should be a great shoot.

i'm also trying to look for a good quality screen printing place to get the shirts i have sketched out into some samples. . . they are seriously seriously so cute. i'm excited. so as long as i find someone that either knows how to print on rayon / tencel blend shirts...we'll be on the ball. maybe i'm just too picky??

God is teaching me what it means to really feel fulfilled. Today I don't feel wanting for anything, except for the health of my family, friends, and career. I like it. I don't feel lonely or upset or like I'm missing out today. That's satisfying.

reason #32759 i love the french

2009-05-17T23:29:00.002-04:00

La Blogotheteque...

'lately' has been..

2009-05-15T16:51:00.012-04:00

- 3 day weekend : and this is first because that never happens!
- $10 coldplay tickets > http://www.livenation.com for more details. only good today.
- poolside w/ amy hamm tomorrow. ALL day.
- being reintroduced to old faces that i hadn't seen in a while. people are coming home from college / others are just coming home to meee.
- dancing more in the past 2 weeks than i have ever danced before
- discovering that i was a yenta
- life altering conversations about love & life that have really opened my eyes to the good the bad the ugly and everything in between. there's a peace there now.
- sand / ocean / moonlight / gummy bears / ice cream till 4 am with one of the greatest humans ever. so thankful. so so thankful.

i'm not afraid or intimidated or antsy about what will be happening in the next few weeks. whatever will be, will be. life is so so good. wherever i end up, i hope the people are just as in love as my friends and i are with each other. Cogan's at 8p tonight! come hang.

i thank you for your listening ears. nothing is more comforting than listening ears...

-julia r.

see ya, life

2009-05-13T11:29:00.003-04:00

they're streaming it online.
totally dead from being so happy

listen here

fauz pauz

2009-05-12T23:17:00.008-04:00

so here's the deal.
went a liiittle bit crazy at forever 21 the other day and bought . . .
uh. a lot.

funny thing is that all of it was blues & grays & whites & and blacks.
(kimmy. i'm going backwardz.) all good quality basics. i found a white tee: 70% rayon, 30% tencel, dry clean only, slightly loose, a little long, with regular tee seams, but with an extra seam going up the back. WIN.

everything in my closet during fall & winter months are bright colors but during summer & spring its the same blues & grays & whites & and blacks. i don't know why i get into darker colors during summer. faux pas. i never realized how obsessed with comfortable clothing i was until now. tri blend tri blend tri blend. win win win.

i also need someone to find me this top, stat:

ladies. lets freaking get together and make something great happen.
i'm seconding kimmy's nyc notion. let us make that win.

yuck. why do you all read my blog? i swear there is more to me than obsessing over fashion but sometimes i cannot hulp myselfffff

the hills have dumb idiots

2009-05-12T14:50:00.003-04:00

this is why i love/hate the hills:

first there's this:

and then, there's this:

If I ever meet stephanie pratt, I will not even know what to do with myself. I mean, could you imagine me meeting her? and how hard my fist would meet her face??

come come come to this

2009-05-12T13:01:00.005-04:00

- LITTLE TROOPER -

- AWESOME FEW-

and my friends

PARABIR AND THE SUBSTITUTES

- TANNERS CREEK | 8 PM | MAY 16 -

mk love you bye.

the water

2009-05-11T11:05:00.005-04:00

"The Water"
a short film by Kevin Drew
and starring Leslie Feist

Found this last night and thought it was the creepiest yet beautiful love story I'd seen in a while. ( Fun fact: Kevin Drew and Feist were band mates in the broken social scene and are lovers in real life! )

watch the movie HERE. its about 10 minutes long. it's a little drawn out in the beginning but the end is what makes it all count..

3 posts in one day?

2009-05-10T21:05:00.003-04:00

today has been a day of discovery. that includes this (make sure you have your headphones innnn: http://blip.fm/profile/juliaramos/blip/10090645
i want to be laura veirs.

2009-05-10T09:32:00.004-04:00

i realized today that i can't sit still or have a free moment because my thoughts seem to wander too much. its like, if i sit and be quiet for too long, i find myself over thinking and torturing myself. they are mainly thoughts about figuring out how to make things happen for me now, rather than wait for my life to just work itself out. its almost like an obsession & it is so tiring.

its really strange to me that i've become the type of person that needs to keep moving. i used to be such a homebody and completely ok with being at home. but now, whether its working or going out or even just sitting and having a meal. i've kept a steady pace . . . and pushed that pace, and i've realized that its to distract myself from these crazy questions of how, when, who, what, etc. . .

and i . don't . know...if this is a good or bad thing.
Hulp.

etc. & mother's day

2009-05-10T00:11:00.006-04:00

there are so many thoughts swirling right now.
kal and i had an amazing conversation today that completely blew my mind.not about anyone or anything in particular, necessarily, but about the way the world works in general. its amazing to hear how different women and men think. its definitely a good thing to sit and talk life with the opposite sex. you learn a lot!

there are also a lot of plans being talked of lately.
brooklyn?
dc?

c'mon c'mon. c'mon.
so many possibilities.

momma's still gone so no momma to spoil tomorrow. but it in her honor i will say that she is, of course, one of the two most influential women in my life. everyone who knows my mother and i, knows that i am so much like her. in our features, our outlooks on life, our temperment (sooometimes ;)), our humor, i mean...everything! she is definitely my all time favorite stylecon and i love her so much. i'm very proud to call her momma. she's taught me, or atleast triiiies to teach me (ha!), how to be a lady and what it means to work hard and to believe in yourself.

here's to momma. i love you. you're so much of what i want to be when i grow up.

(momma, in the middle )

hair

2009-05-08T12:14:00.001-04:00

birthday aura

2009-05-07T14:45:00.004-04:00

y'all missed out. check out the birthday spirit city club ghost party #23...

more pics here.

on being restless

2009-05-04T12:50:00.016-04:00

i've always been a very independent type of person. i've always done my own thing, didn't like to follow trends, and was always considered the blacksheep of the family. anything that i wanted...i've pretty much been the type of person to just go and get it. and if i can't go and get it...i try my best to work towards it and make it happen. i definitely can't say that i've achieved all of my goals, but that's ok...i'm still young and God willing, i still have a lot of time to get it done. . .

but. no matter how great my life is at the moment, i've always been restless. i guess that its a normal feeling for someone my age to feel. but lately it has been something completely different and is honestly kind of hard to explain. i love virginia beach and i will always always call it home. but there comes a point in your life when you really start to feel like there just isn't anything left to be excited about. where "home" doesn't really feel like home. when you feel out of place because things just become way too familiarized and there's nothing left to discover. i've been wanting to move away for a really long time and i honestly think that those feelings were just the result of emotional baggage i was trying to run away from, hence me wanting to leave. i guess just to leave memories and places and familiar faces that i didn't want to be reminded of anything by.

at this point in my life, i'm completely satisfied with most things. i've got a great job & have been given even better opportunities. spiritually, physically, materialistically, i dont feel wanting or that anything is out of reach. but lately i have found myself wanting more in a relational aspect. not in the romantic or friendship sense...well...i guess kind of, but more so i've felt like i don't really have any friends that i can relate to right now. relate to, yes, in a girl type of way. you know, the, why are my boobs getting bigger? lets go shopping! she did what?? kind of way. with the exception of my darling amy hammond, all of my best girlfriends and i are in completely different places in life and its been a struggle to find girl time because we're all always preoccupied. my sisters are both married with kids, and 90% of their conversation has to do with how to discipline, how to have a husband, how to clean up poop, etc etc. 3 of my closest girlfriends don't live here and my girlfriends that live here are all usually MIA due to boyfriends. not that any of that is a bad thing, but i'm really itching to feel like i belong again. to have people that are in the same place in life as i am. goal oriented, successful, happy, willing to travel, independent? this is why i am so so happy amy and i have been hanging out! i feel like we have the same outlook on a lot of things and i'm definitely in need of some real girl time! i can see this summer already...dirty martinis & the outside bar/fire pits at catch 31. win.

maybe i'm really just jealous of all of the traveling my friends have been doing lately. i guess it doesn't help that a large percentage of my friends right now are either over seas, on tour, or living in awesome walk/bike kind of cities. hah. i guess in the mean time, i'm going to be thinking & praying about what my next step is. i don't think VB is where i need to be right now. whether or not that means putting Paper Heart on hold, or even looking for another city it would do better in...i really think that it's time for me to get out of my comfort zone and take huge leaps to really get what i want out of life. there's so much more out there to do and to feel and to learn. i need it all.

so so good.

2009-05-02T13:14:00.003-04:00

baby brother covers fleet foxes
how cuuute is that?

the funeral

2009-05-01T16:12:00.004-04:00

"To know me as hardly golden
Is to know me all wrong"

in LOVE with this
serena ryder covers band of horses

2009-05-01T01:45:00.004-04:00

today i miss:

2009-04-30T15:38:00.009-04:00

-julia ramos photography-

paris. what do you miss?

tattz

2009-04-30T01:27:00.005-04:00

Sew.

i'm getting a tattoo next week but i need to finalize some thangs.

i've basically lived by this verse all my life:

"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD."

- i'd like the words, "be strong & let your heart take courage" around something like a rose blooming into the face of a lion. The rose being symbolic of beauty and love and growth but also being that my momma's name is rosemarie & the lion is obv a symbol of strength and courage and my father's name, ariel, means lion of God. i'm thinking a blooming rose, with the inside petals forming a lions face.

who can even understand and who can even make that happen for me is the question. i told kenny lutz about it and he made me this, lol:

not quite what i was going for, but i thought it wuz funny. i'm thinking something a little more one of a kind than a lions face in the middle of a flower...

i'm going to ask megan & steve riddle to draw me some samples.
in the mean time, tell me whut you even thank.

weak end

2009-04-28T10:39:00.006-04:00

2009-04-25T23:02:00.005-04:00

yeah. i'm in dc.
whenever i get the chance to sit and talk with my family about life i do. nostalgia? pride? reaffirming my place? all of it.

i've been taking a lot of pictures...mostly of treasures i've found over the years in my aunts house that have always inspired me. including: a hand crafted silver necklace she got from a saudi arabian bedouin, a venecian theatre mask made of pure marble, aventinus coasters she stole from the g. schneider & sohn brewery years ago, and her baby grand...just to name a few. pictures soon.

i especially love to sit and talk with my grandparents who, for their old age, are still present minded, speak perfect english - even correct my grammar, and have amazing memories. i really believe that it is so important for people to understand where they came from and to learn as much as they can from the generations before them before you have to go about it all on your own.

tonight's subject was love. they started asking me questions about the piano thomas gave me and were wondering how i was going to get rid of it. at first, they said, they thought that this was thomas' way of winning the family over to allow him to marry me - which brought us into the story of the beginning of my grandparents' life together :

over 60 years ago, when my grandfather asked for my grandmother's hand in marriage, in certain social circles, it was expected of the young man asking for the lady's hand in marriage's family to offer something similiar to what some islamic countries call, a mahr. the philippines is not an islamic country so this isn't quite what they called it, but the concept was the same. in asking for the lady's hand, the man was expected to offer gifts to her family; proof that he could provide for her.

my grandfather can still describe it today and has vividly recapped all of this in his memoirs. he can remember what the weather was like and how he chose his outfit specific to still looking neat after walking through the rain. he can remember the smells and sounds and each name of every person of importance. he described how nervous he was and how he carefully chose and had a reason for the bottle of wine, rare delicacies, and expensive trinkets that he did. he remembers how his heart pounded walking up those stairs and how he could feel the sweat dripping from his brow. "what if this isn't good enough?" he thought. "what if this isn't enough for her?"

while all of the other bride-to-be's parents were months long into their negotiations...after the months of toiling over what he would present. After making the hard choice of who would be his two whitnesses, to his surprise, my grandmother's family refused to accept anything at all!

the one thing that they did ask, was that he would deeply and truly love her, just as she deserved. nothing material needed.

that , ladies & gentleman, is what you call the real deal.

tomorrow:

i'll take the blue from franconia to king st then the yellow to gallery pl for a brunch.
then the red and then the blue to smithisonian to check out Robert Frank's "The Americans" at the National Gallery.

now:

more beeeer.

2009-04-25T03:02:00.008-04:00

don't lose yourself.

don't let yourself be lost.

love vs hate vs. etc

2009-04-23T21:01:00.012-04:00

A few things i realized i hated these past 2 weeks:

- that i grind my teeth when i'm nervous / stressed / confused/ thoughtful / etc.
- calluses from playing guitar. sew painful.
- not getting my paycheck when i am expecting it.
- people that have an inability to man up.
- pocketmac.
- the way that every left spike in a pair of heels that i own somehow end up way more tattered and worn than my right
- the frequency of my parents' traveling out of the country.
- cleaning my car.
- how dirty my car is.
- the fact that i bought a $90 ipod adapter for my car, which hasn't worked, but haven't had the time to return it yet.
- how high my belly button is. ask me next time you see me and i'll show you. sick.
- my drive to work. its long. and boring.

A few things i realized i loved these past 2 weeks:

- how much deep thinking i've been able to accomplish on my long boring drive to work!
- printed hosiery.
- influx w/john am spinning.
- aventinus beer.
- jersey knit sheets..
- menswear for women.
- the way that most of my guy friends have a deeper commitment to a dance floor than i.
- pomegranate mimosas.
- getting flowers in the mail.
- getting a drink with jesse.
- coming to the realization that my friends really do believe in me and are great great supportive people.
- The Veils.
- meeting people that are in no way attached to my group of friends.

Etc:

- today, i think i helped a man cheat on his wife. these are only assumptions, of course. he asked me how "his friend" could lock his phone so that his friends wife couldn't get into it and also how he could make it so that the phone didn't record his call history. he also asked me if he could purchase a memory card to store all of "his friends" photos on and then if i could wipe the handset clean of any information at all, especially the contacts. he then leaves the store with my card, calls 5 minutes later asking what time i was closing, and then comes back asking if the phone's battery could hold any memory and wanted to buy a new one if so. i told him it did and charged him extra for it. eh?

- tomorrow i leave for DC till sunday night. i've missed my aunt so much. a few of you have met her and know how much i love her. if i could accomplish half of what she has in her life so far, i'd die happy and completely satisfied. brunch with jon golike on sunday. excited.

- kings of leon & the walkmen on monday. cannot even waiiit.

that. is. it.

p.s.

2009-04-21T22:25:00.004-04:00

this reminds me of being 5:

john:

dad (in the glasses on guitar):

i wunna be 5 again.

2009-04-21T21:43:00.008-04:00

have you ever looked in the mirror and have been faced with painful, menacing confusion? inside you feel like someone completely different from what you see. and it scares the hell out of you?

obviously.

i'm not trying to be poetic. and its not so much that i don't know who i am as a person but...what is a body . i can see and feel and hear and cry and laugh but why a body? what's the point? what a weird thought. i guess i just don't know what to think when i look at myself. not in an aesthetic way. not in a self glorifying way or in wrinkles or anything like that. but who? who is that person you see? seriously. have i met her?

i think that sharing with you what i see and what i actually feel would be too intimate. and it hurts to say that but its true. i don't know how healthy this thinking is, but i'm thinking it. at first i thought...everyone feels this way. everyone is someone else, really. but the more i thought about it, i can name more people i'm sure could identify themselves as exactly what they see in the mirror and that i'm one of a few that have no concept of what i guess i can call, "reflection reality". reality being, what their heart beats. feelings and thoughts swirling in their heads and how it connects to the way i use my hands. or my posture. or the way i wear my hair. i'm probably confusing you.

i guess my question is, should someone identify themselves inwardly just as they do outwardly? at what point do you feel whole? in that your body feels at home in itself?

why do i get so confused when i see her? ugh....me?

this post should probably be private. but if you understand what i mean, it'd be comforting to know.

i hope i get this job

2009-04-20T12:41:00.004-04:00

howw freaking sweet would my life be? i'd have no life but it would be an awesome not having a life. pray pray pray.

so addicted to this shiz

2009-04-19T23:17:00.008-04:00

sister showed me this today:

[ love it ]

kind of like the tenori-on except on your desktop. check out little boots using it to cover hot chip:

see ya lyfe.

SUCCESS!

2009-04-19T12:15:00.004-04:00

good news. jordan brazie from valaric surf boards is going to make me a custom board! all white, with the paper heart logo on it - - and at material cost! love it. if you want a custom board or need repairs go to the Valaric Boards myspace: here .

sister sent me a link from craig's list for a job she thought i'd be perfect for. and yes, i applied. love it:

x

TRAVELING PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Date: 2009-04-17, 12:07PM

Busy young executive seeking personal assistant to help with all the things I don't have enough time to do on my own. Role would include:
*Executive assistant work: planning and arranging travel, setting up appointments
*Shopping assistant work: shopping for basics as well as clothing and occasional specialty items like furniture, etc. (important that person have a sense of style)
*Social assistant work: helping set up dinner parties and other social events, arranging catering, attending the larger events to make sure things go well, etc. (important that person be presentable and poised)
*Domestic assistant work: laundry, ironing, potentially cooking, etc
*Very flexible To Travel 70% OF TIME.
Mybusiness involves the clothing field - a good personal presentation is key.

IF INTERESTED AND QUALIFIED, PLEASE EMAIL ME BACK WITH YOUR RESUME COPIED AND PASTED IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL (NO ATTACHMENTS PLEASE). PLEASE INCLUDE A PARAGRAPH ABOUT YOURSELF, SPECIFICALLY WHY THIS JOB IS RIGHT FOR YOU.

PIC with resume is appreciated., and perhaps we can meet for coffee to speak further

* Location: Virginia Beach
* Compensation: @Interview
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

x

hopefully i get it. i think it would be an amazing adventure

on keeping up with my 'personal brand'

2009-04-18T14:12:00.004-04:00

i feel like my "personal brand" would be complete if learned how to 'shred that gnar' that everyone's always talking about.

i've lived here for 22 years and have attempted twice and both times have done well but just never kept up. who wants to help me ?? sarahmarie? rach? kimmy? mr.crowne? anywone in the universe???? all of my friends are 10x more awesome than i am and i feel left out.

point is...this needs to be me in T minus 3 months. . .

kthanks.

satorial saturations?

2009-04-17T12:38:00.006-04:00

thank you scott..

Job?
pop star . one half of the kimmy & julia show.

Best Sartorial advice from your parents?
attention to detail. the importance of good fabric.

Style icons?
my mother, carine roitfeld, ashley olsen, francoise hardey

Describe your personal style...
i'm really into mixing basics with one of a kind pieces. feminine silhouettes.

I build my daily look around?
my schedule for the day - if i'm at the office, i'll put on a dress - if its errands, its denim - but i will always have a pair of heels on!

Personal Style quirk?
nothing is too outrageous.

Favorite designers?
phillip lim, marc jacobs, ann demeulemeester, monique lhuillier...

Most cherished item?
my silver wrap around ring & a dress my mother gave me that she got as a gift from my dad when they were dating.

Never caught wearing?
parachute pants. yuuck. don't get it.

Most underrated item in menswear/womenswear?
i think that more women should play with blazers - they're flattering and sharpen up any outfit. for men, i think that color is underrated! and prints other than polka dots & stripes.

Dress to impress who?
dress to impress yourself. but i think that staying aesthetically pleasing is a necessity.

Flats or heels?
heels. way too short to be wearing flats.

Favorite stores?
usually forever 21 for last minute, one stop things that i know i won't wear more than once or twice. i really love small boutiques like NEED in richmond, va / what comes around goes around in soho / studio 615 in nashville. i also love anthropologie & urban outfitters, of course!

Your next "must have" purchase?
oliver peoples zooey sunglasses in SLB w G15

I skimp when buying ...
anything i don't think i'll wear more than once or twice.

I splurge on...
the basic essentials. pencil skirts, denim, jackets, anything with luxe fabrics, and i WILL splurge on a great dress.

Favorite item of clothing?
a purple sweater dress by LA mixx

Favorite fashion magazines?
i don't care how trendy the other publications are, vogue will always be the end all be all.

Favorite (style) books?
new york fashion by sonnet stanfil

Favorite stylish movies?
annie hall, vanity fair, breakfast at tiffany's!

Favorite vacation spot?
boracay, PI / madrid, Spain

Favorite neighborhood restaurant?
anywhere on colley ave! esp nazef. i also love baker's crust.

we'd look better if we win.

2009-04-16T09:06:00.008-04:00

good morning ladies and gentleman.

i've had a marvelous past few days. God is always great about giving me a few really really great days after things go crazy. besides the jumbled thoughts, i've had great people to sort it all out for me and make me feel human again.

easter was great. got up pretty early and sang. had service and then grilled out at the house. it was a pretty chill afternoon. the kennons came over and we all just sat around ate and talked in the living room for a good 3 hours. all this week i've thought about pastor's sermon on what the world would be like if Jesus had not resurrected. He brought up great ideas about wars and israel and how weak the US probably would have been if the US existed at all. He also brought up great points as far as the validity of the resurrection is concerned. His question was...why would 11/12 disciples give their lives for something they knew was a lie? Why would hundreds of his followers choose martyrdom, exile, alienation for something that wasn't true? All of it really made me think and really shook me up. More than anything he touched on the affect the resurrection has had on what hope means for so many people. hope is what people needed and his resurrection did that. the lesson i learned this past week has been to keep hoping in what God has for me because everything else is out of my control. its the same lesson i've been learning over and over the past few years of my life but its always something completely different each time.

Monday was pretty relaxed. had breakfast with david and then went to work till 7. Tuesday was work again and then business planning for a few hours and then an amazing dinner with dave wright at bakers crust. I realized how much of a food nut i am that night when the waiter brought out what was supposed to be carpese salad, except it had parsley on top. i had it sent back and corrected. dave had no idea what was going on and i kind of felt like a biatch, but a caprece salad is a caprece salad and it doesn't take a culinary genius to make a caprece salad. am i rambling? you guys have no idea what i'm talking about . . . anyway, the rest of the meal was amazing and their crepes are some of the best i've ever had...even more than the ones we had in france! (i'm gonna get in a lot of trouble for that...). after, went to isaac's loft and roller skated all night! got a mean bruise on my knee that you should ask to see next time you see me. its totally dot from a league of their own's bruise status.

Wednesday had brunch with kimjong. oh how i love that girl. we were going to go to ihop but i decided to bring her to the broken egg since everyone seems to love it there. it was both our first time and very very worth it. they had pomegranate mimosas!!

left there and went and played music for a few hours. we decided that we're starting a band called "receive THIS". hahaha. ugh. we also decided that we're going to get all "mandy & mylers show" on the youtube and start a "kimmy & julia show". there will be social commentary. there will be re-enactments of nights prior. there will be guts busted and lyves rocked and etc. oh yeah, and covers...

here's our first. this song has been on my mind a lot lately. "oh why can't i feel for you? / my heart is so black to you / .... / Oh love! Set me free! set me free! come on and set me free!"

the original is on their album "Ode to Sunshine" - here is our version. enjoy.

the kimmy & julia show

2009-04-15T16:26:00.002-04:00

p.s. tell your friendsssss

2009-04-14T19:31:00.004-04:00

[ ADD US! ]

obsession du jour

2009-04-14T10:29:00.003-04:00

What is your current obsession?
my quality of life

What is your weirdest obsession?
i have always had this weird obsession with successful people my age. ie: the olsen twins, mark zuckerberg, etc.

What are you wearing today?
a smile.

What would you like to learn to do?
i'd like to learn how to read music again.

What are the last things you bought?
food?

What are you listening to right now?
delta spirit

What is your favorite weather?
somewhere around 76 with a light breeze. no humidity.

What is on your bedside table?
a lamp, a few books, a picture box, a vase of roses

What is your most challenging goal right now?
direction. not letting the blind lead the blind.

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
huh?

Where would you like to be?
don't quite know yet. some city. chicago? portland?

Who is your favorite designer?
right now - phillip lim / chloe / miu miu / marchesa

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
another hand

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
I'd love a studio loft in chicago or paris or seattle.

Which language do you want to learn?
French. or German...apparently?

What's your favorite color?
purple!

What is your dream job?
musician or own my own botique! PHV y'all.

What are your plans for this summer?
greece. greece. love. greece. wilco.

What is your favorite magazine?
bomb / juxtapoz / ny times magazine

Who is your style-icon?
carine roitfeld, ashley olsen, the satorialist.com

Favourite movie:
amelie / eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

blah-blah-blog.

on not having time to blog?

2009-04-13T14:48:00.009-04:00

Maybe its not necessarily that i haven't had time to blog, i've just been lacking in motivation to blog. mostly because i've been in this weird mood where i'd rather soak then squeeze...make sense?

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a few of you have been curious about the new job. overall i'd say that its going great. corporate is opening a store 2 mins away from where my store is and i'm more than worried about what that'll mean for us. i don't really know what the need for us being around would be, but hopefully they will need us. i'd hate to think that i've put time and gas and work into this store to get it running for nothing...

i've been meeting with some people recently about my wanting to open an actual store for paper heart. i haven't really let many people hear what my ideas for the business are except for a select few. mainly because i don't want to get ahead of myself and get my own hopes up for something that would be awesome to accomplish, but is very daunting and a lot of work. so far i've gotten a great response and have a few people that are already interested in investing, but i definitely want to get a good business plan written up so i can organize my thoughts and actually get things onto paper. money is the biggest issue right now and although i'd like to start it without taking out any loans, not doing so is probably going to be close to impossible. hopefully you guys will be willing to take me in and feed me for a few years when i can't afford to live my lyfe...

either way, i'm so very excited about what i have swimming in my brain. there are a few spaces in downtown norfolk i'd love to place the store in. have even considered looking at the building relative theory used to be in. rumor has it the reason the guys left there was because the rent was so high...hah. this is what i mean by trying to stick to a realistic business plan and to not have visions of grandeur. paper heart is going to be my baby. and as dave put it...starting a business is definitely far from impossible. the real task is not being intimidated by the amount of work that goes into it. but, its just work. work hasn't scared me before?

my goal : 2 years AT MOST. 6 months is really what i want. but who who who knows.
check out paper heart vintage's myspace here. needs a lot of updating. but it'll give you a feel of how i want to present it all. ADD US!

love love love
everything is going to be ok.

- julia

#345

2009-04-12T15:50:00.000-04:00